(Closed) I love my bridesmaid but…..

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

we just had this prob with my FIS BESTman and hes out of the pic turns out hes dating the grooms recent ex….which is a BIIIG no no and he knew it thats a diff story…

 

i had two MOHs but both lived too far away and its difficult the one i ahve now same kind as your a bff soul mate type she has a kid and is busy with two jobs….shes really bad about responding to me. i would give her some time and then call her leave a voicemail if she doesnt answer

 

do u think maybe shes just tired of hearing about the wedding….

 

i know lots of brides including my self that have a problem with over talking about the wedding bells at times….have u tried talking to her about something other than the wedding or even ask her..

Post # 5
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I have to ask – how long has it been since you’ve heard from her?  It’s possibly that she’s just really busy right now and it sounds like you’re asking her a lot of questions/input and she really just needs some time to think about everything.  Other responses to people on Facebook may be no-brainers and don’t take much time, but she hasn’t had time to figure out if she wants her makeup done, or if the hair place is good, or whatnot.  So that’s why I ask how long it’s been since she’s responded to you?

Also – when is the RSVP deadline for your shower?  Not everyone RSVPs right away, and some people do the “Oh, I need to make sure I RSVP to this” and then they set it aside and forget about it.  It’s possible that’s what happened.

It sounds like she’s been really good about the wedding stuff and maybe has just hit a really busy streak in her life.  I wouldn’t freak out just yet!  Give her some time (depending on how much time you’ve already given her).

I have a friend that’s really good at the on-again off-again friendships.  I think she only has energy to focus on a couple friendships at a time, so sometimes I won’t hear from her for months, even though I’ll e-mail, Facebook her, or call her, and I can see she’s alive (via Facebook posts to other people).  Just when I’m ready to give up on her, she’ll suddenly shift her focus to me and our friendship and I’ll hear from her a LOT all of a sudden.  And then we’ll go through a dry spell again.  Your friend might be like that.  😛

Post # 6
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think you (and your FI for his groomsman) should let your BM know that she’s not going to be a BM. Say that you understand that’s she’s busy, or you needed to put an order in for dresses or something and since you haven’t gotten ahold of her she won’t be able to be in the wedding. She’ll probably be relieved that she’s off the hook. If you still want her at your wedding, make sure to tell her that and focus on how nice it will be to see her and how much more fun she’ll have as a guest.

Post # 7
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I have a question too.  When contacting your Bm, are you always about wedding stuff?  Are you ever calling etc. to just hang out or gab or see how her day is?  I don’t think your’e a bad person, even if you find that it’s all been about the wedding.  We get carried away.  It happens. 

But I think there’s a possibility of a number of things.  1.  Same old standard… she’s jealous of your situation.  If hse’s single, looking for a man, could be the case…. but maybe not… 2  Perhaps she is tired of thinking wedding all the time.  It can be annoying if everything coming out of your friend’s mouth is about her wedding, nothing about you.  3.  COuld be that she’s relly busy with something at work, or socially.  You might be busy doing wedding stuff.  And if she’s single, she might be doing more single stuff with single people, and therefore has more stuff going on w/ FB w/ other ppl.  4.  Perhaps something she is concenred about is going on, and doesn’t want to tell you.  (ie.  money troubles)  And is concened about things like shower, wedding gift, or travel expenses.

If you feel neglected, I’d try to reconnect.  But see if you can just call her and ask, if she wants to go to such and such movie on Friday, or to that new Italian restaurant with the group.  Maybe it’s on of those “patches” or maybe she’ll open up if there is something more.

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