- 5 years ago
Yesterday I found out the ex was battling whether or not to stay with me because he didn’t want anymore children for almost a year. In the VERY beginning of our relationship when HE brought up future plans and what not, he made a comment about possibly not having anymore children and I told him that is a dealbreaker for me. I was 21 at the time, and do not want children until I am 30, but I still feel that you should be open and honest with people. I told him it would only be fair for us to split if that’s what he wants. He went on to tell me everything was cool and he wanted to see where my head was. Totally understandable since we were only together for like 7 months at the time.
When he asked me to help him take care of his son about 2 months ago, I said yes; however, I made it very clear that I still want my own children. After that, it went downhill FASTER than it already was. Naturally, after finding out he was at work talking to a mutual friend about how he didn’t want anymore kids and I did and ALSO told her he loves me so much he’s gonna do it, I was PISSED! I mean, I was crying because I was HONEST with him in the beginning and did what I felt was the mature thing and he agreed to all the ground rules I laid down. I said I will not be his gf forever and that I wanted kids someday. He agreed to both and throughout the years told me how much he couldn’t wait for our future…blah blah blah. My heart sank. I felt used, lied to and led on.
I called a dear friend of mine and we talked for like 5 hours. Not all about that situation, but life in general. Words cannot express the appreciation I have for this woman. She reassured me that I don’t need him, dodged a bullet (I do feel that way), didn’t waste my time (I feel like I did even though I am getting a degree out of it), and that people like him who lead people on do not get ahead in life!
I know at this point, worrying about him and hoping he realizes what he missed and what he did to me will not help me, but I am human and can’t help feeling those things. It was so nice to get it off of my chest and cry about this…stranger posing as the man I’ve been with the past three and a half years of my life. The pain was sooo deep and I am grateful for her.
Then I immediately felt the urge to log on to the bee and share my story! It’s like second nature to me now because I have a support network here and no one has ever layed eyes on me. People say mankind is going down, but I know there are still some souls out there that care for people…whether they know them or not.
His things are still here and I am waiting for the 30 day mark to hit because his things will be considered “abandoned” and I can then do what I need to do. Bees, I pray one day that I will get an apology. I HOPE he is wherever he is realizing what a good woman I was to him and wanna kick himself. I wish he were to try and call so that i can ignore the call—-just so I can feel validated….but I know it probably won’t happen. I appreciate all of the support you ladies have given me. It is absolutely priceless.
Enjoy the rest of your evening 🙂