Post # 1
I love my Fiance with all of my heart and the e-ring that he purchased with love. I do have moments when I do feel self conscience about my ring or a little hesitant to show it off because of the reactions or comments I’ve received from people.
He picked the ring he felt was the very essence of me and that he could afford after grad school, a small solitiare. With that in mind, I wear my ring proudly because of what it symbolizes. The funny this is I’m not a materialist girl in the least bit, but I guess it doesn’t help when I have so many engaged friends during the same time whose rings completely eclipse mine. Even in movies and shows, every engagment ring displayed is something huge but never when a girl gets something smaller. I feel like every ring I see is huge and I’m the anomally.
I think what bothers me most is the reaction from people when they asked to see my. Responses such as, “oh aww it’s cute”, or that awkward silence when they’re trying to think of something nice to say.
Am I only bee who can relate to this?
Post # 3
I’ve had a similar experience with my ring – but the thing I learned is, you can’t go through life seeking everyone’s approval on everything you do/have. Fiance and I have a lot of joint financial goals – a huge engagement ring was not one of those goals.
The amount of emotional support we’ve received in our relationship from people we really care about far outweighs the stupid comments about the size of my ring. I mean, there is no correllation between how in love a couple is to the size of the diamond the woman is wearing.
Post # 4
@LadyLewis12: I mean in this day and age society makes us believe a engagement ring has to be a diamond and has to be of large size to meet requirements. This also coming from a day and age where marriages don’t last for more than 5 minutes… Not to mention celebrity marriages (most of them anyway). If you look back to the old days when couples would stay married for over 30 years they’re rings we’re not huge at all. IMO people have lost touch with what a ring signifies in a marriage and that is just a symbol for your love or one another not a fashion statement. That being said, there is nothing wrong with preferring the way a larger diamond looks on your finger or any stone or ring for that matter. I just shouldn’t be peoples rude insensitive comments that lead us to not love our ring.
I haven’t experienced what you are describing but just remember you are wearing your ring for YOU not for anyone else. When you look down at it you will remember your fiancé and how much you care for eachother. So if they say your ring is cute just say thank you and ignore them if they are trying to offend you.
Post # 5
You will get used to it, eventually. My oldest sister married rich and her ring is like, retarded huge. Like almost 50k huge. It’s ridiculous. No matter how beautiful my ring is, mine will always look teeny compared to hers.
Eventually you’ll just stop caring. I’ve been stuck staring at her behemoth ring, so now I’m just used to it. I’m sure your ring is STUNNING. Also, I find that other people always perceive my ring as bigger than it is. You’re so used to staring at your own ring that you just get used to it. I’m sure it looks much bigger to the general public than you imagine.
Post # 6
Okay, now nobody shoot me in the rear for this, but I totally understand where you are coming from.
My original e-ring was oh-so-tiny. I loved my Fiance, therefore I loved my ring. It wasn’t that I was disappointed with the size of the diamond, nor was I even very concerned with others’ opinions of it. It was just that personally, I wanted it to be a little more obvious that I was engaged. I was excited about being engaged, and I wanted anyone who looked at my hand to know that I was getting married!
We have been married for three years, and I have a different ring now. But I soooo understand what you are feeling.
Post # 7
@the_future_mrs: “like, retarded huge..” Ohmygosh, that is so funny 😀
Post # 8
I live in Holland now, and engagement rings here are TINY. Whenever I tell people that the rule of thumb for an engagement ring is 3 months salary, they look at me like I’m crazy (and sometimes even start laughing out loud). I mean, who came up with that rule anyway?! A brilliant marketer who wanted more money, that’s who. I have a 1/2 ct solitaire, and I LOVE IT! But it’s funny because here I am the one with the crazy huge ring, but as soon as I go back to my hometown, I constantly compare my e-ring with others I see around, and then I feel like it is so crazy small. Eventually you will get comfortable with your ring, and everyone will eventually see it. As the newness of the engagement wears off, I think the size will begin to matter less and less, and people won’t make as many comments about it.
CONGRATS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT BTW!
Post # 9
You said this is what he could afford. Then don’t compare your ring with others, it will never end. You don’t need a huge rock to have a happy marriage. Maybe he’s saving money for something more important like buying a house with you?
Post # 10
@JustLove25: Here Here! I agree with you 100%.
Post # 11
Present your ring with confidence when someone asks to see it. Smile proudly. They don’t like it, too bad. They act awkward, that’s their problem. If you begin to act like you need to make an excuse for its size, than people will pick up on that. People are so weird when it comes to this topic…I had someone say to me the other day, “is that real?” UMM yeah it’s real, why would you ask that even if you really thought it wasnt??? UGH.
Post # 12
I actually happen to like smaller stones more. I think larger stones are gaudy, over-the-top and showy. Isn’t the ring supposed to represent your love for each other, not how much money your SO can spend?
Post # 13
MY ering is 1/2 carat TW and I wear it proudly. For me, it is not as important. I do see the looks and one persons asked me if my Fiance wasnt up for VP Position in his IT firm and couldnt afford better- SMDH at people’s expectation. I know where my ring money is going…helping me finish my PHD without any loans but I cannot help but realize how easily people judge your FI’s worth by the ring… lol.
Enjoy your engagement and your ring and consider that unlike some, your Fiance did not have to take out a major loan that he will be paying back for quite a while ( I know someone paying back for the next 3 years and yet they live with her parents while they save to pay down on a house) SMDH.
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
It’s all about marketing. We’re made to believe that larger engagement rings are proper and smaller ones aren’t as good. Well they are! 😀 They’re given with love and should be cherished just as much as any huge showstopper. I love that my Fiance and I have a house instead of a big ring, and that we have everything that we need, BUT, I still got a petite sparkly to love.
I admit, I have fantasized about upgrading to a half carat, but he has said a few times now that I am not allowed to lose my ring, so I think this one is for life. Knowing that it means so much to him makes it mean all the more to me.
Post # 15
@LadyLewis12: Be proud of your fiance and proud of your ring. He was smart with his money, which in this day and time is an admirable quality! I started a post for rings under a 1/2 carat so those of us that do have smaller rings can be proud too. Post your ring here if you want and join us!
Post # 16
some people opt not to have an ering at all… maybe after the wedding you could just wear your wedding band instead without the ering?
can you post a picture?