Post # 1
Today was the first time that I have really felt like his presence is holding me back. I don’t mind not drinking…I don’t mind eating right..I love doing all these things for him. I love him so much and want the best so badly that I haven’t even ridden my horse since October.
And this is where my problem lies. My horse is miserable. She has started biting, weaving, cribbing. The only time she is “normal” is when I go to visit her, but even then I can just tell she is so depressed about her situation when she realizes she isn’t going to get ridden. I live in the middle of nowhere. I have tried to find someone who will come out and ride her where I have her, but it has been useless.
I finally found someone who is willing to lease her, but at her barn 45 minutes away from me. She came out and rode her today and they got along fine and she is picking her up tomorrow.
Bees, I am so upset. Up until now my horse IS my baby. I have owned many horses and none of them are like her. When I got her 3 years ago I felt like I found my horsey soulmate. I feel like I am seriously letting her down by sending her away…I just want to ride her and snuggle her but instead tomorrow I watch her leave until August 🙁
It doesn’t help that my SO is away on a fishing trip with his friends right now. I am going through a hormonal time that feels like I have given up so much for our baby and he is off drinking and having fun all weekend while I am crying over just one more thing I have had to give up.
I don’t know what I am looking for, I guess I just needed to vent to some of my fellow pregnant bees who might understand how I am feeling!
Post # 3
I’m not pregnant but I think what you’re feeling is totally normal. Unfortunately, guys don’t always understand pregnancy and the “toll” it takes on a woman. Not only do your priorities have to change in an instant (as your husband’s do too), but you are physically limited. I can’t imagine how hard to must be to not be able to do something you love. I love our dog like a child too. If I had to send her away even for her benefit I’m sure it would break my heart.
I hope when he gets back from his trip he can console you!
I’ve also heard that horses are incredibly intuitive, so I’m sure she knows you still love her. Just think how beautiful it will be when you get to introduce your little boy to her 🙂
Post # 4
@JustMe12182: At the risk of sounding like an idiot, can you just ride her? I understand completely wanting to do what us best for your baby, but a skilled rider on a horse you know seems ok? I’m not a horse person so I really don’t know. I’m 18 weeks pregnant and I’m a ski coach- skiing pregnant isn’t recommended, but there was no way I was going to quit my job and sit on my butt at home bored and depressed. Just my two cents. I really do feel for you and it all works out ok for both you and your horse!
Post # 5
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like you are doing the very best you can for your horse, and animals are more resilient than you think.
Post # 6
@JustMe12182: When are you due? I’m guessing you are too far along now to risk riding. Are you able to visit your horse? Any way to make the horse go very slow and easy? Probably not the best idea but I feel for you both because your horse doesn’t understand what’s going on.
I hope you are able to re-establish your relationship after the baby arrives.
Post # 7
@MrsAKSkier: If she were quiet and trained I would definitely still be riding her…she is still green (not totally trained) and gets scared often/needs a lot of rider support. Unfortunately she also has a very bouncy stride, which means she looks beautiful when she moves, but is pretty uncomfortable for the rider. I rode her when I was a couple weeks and the bounciness had me cramping for 2 days afterwards…it was so scary that I promised the baby I wouldn’t do that to him again!
She probably won’t miss me as much as I miss her! It’s just such a bummer!
Post # 8
@Jen-in-GA: I am 24 weeks, I stopped as soon as I found out then bought a western saddle so I had more to hold on to (I ride english), rode that one time in October, got cramping and didn’t ride again.
We are hoping to have our barn built in the next 5 years so I am definitely looking forward to when I no longer have to board and I can just have her in my backyard for my kid(s).
Post # 9
I’m so sorry! Lifetime horseperson here, I feel you. You’re more upset about it than she is, I promise. I’m glad you found someone to lease her, that will keep her in shape for you and also give her a job so her cribbing may let up a bit…
You’re right it is unfair…you have to give up a LOT compared to your husband. But you also have the honor of giving birth, which he can’t. 🙂 Everything will be just fine. Especially once LO gets here, you’ll miss your mare of course but you’ll be so in love with your son it won’t bother you as much.