Post # 1
…she has never been in a wedding before, has no idea what all it entails, and due to that, sometimes the questions she asks me drive me crazy.
Today, I mentioned to her that my FI & I may not get to honeymoon due to schooling schedules and work schedules and that I was upset about it. She immediately asks why we can’t change the wedding date to the week before summer schooling begins for FI.
I’ll be in my final semester of graduate courses RIGHT before then. Taking my graduate school finals. On what alternate planet does she think that I could do that AND finalize details for the wedding??? Especially when she knows I’m completely Type A? And when I’m doing all of this out of town (3 hours away) b/c I’m in school?
And yes, I know, I know I’m being harsh but sometimes it’s frustrating to have to spell out every little detail of wedding-related stuff to make someone understand the purposes behind your decisions. With anyone else who’s been involved in a wedding, it’s easier for them to understand the multitude of things and opinions and circumstances that go into making each and every little decision. With someone who hasn’t been involved with one…it’s not so easy. Like when she thought that we could just ask a relative (one not invited to the ceremony) to set up the reception site during the ceremony…umm…no. Can’t really do that.
I’m not upset with her or mad at her or anything…just frustrated at the situation. Ugh.
Post # 3
she’s probably just trying to be supportive and involved.
Post # 4
**hugs** its ok dont let it frustrated you. there is this great MOH to do list on Theknot.com maybe you could email it to her and show her what her duties are and you can make changes to it if you like as well.
Post # 5
Hate to say this…but sounds totally normal. It is exactly what I have had to do too. It’s frustrating, but that’s what happens when you are the first one!
Post # 6
I mean this in the nicest possible way, so please don’t get upset or offended. Relax! Go read apracticalwedding.com and get some perspective. When I first got engaged I was feeling rather the same way about my FI (except worse because the “I can’t believe you don’t understand the way these things work” was tinged with “Do you not really want to get married?”) He kept talking about being out of town alot this summer and lots of things to do that were not wedding and I didn’t see how we could get married if we didn’t spend any time on it. Somewhere in the back of my head was the script that said “Obviously, when you are engaged you spend all of your free time planning your wedding and it takes over your whole life”. I took a step back and thought about and realized I didn’t really want the wedding to take over my whole life and I chilled out. I would like to gently suggest you do the same. You’ll be happier for it. If you find you can’t relax, you may want to think about what anxieties are driving you (don’t worry I have them too, why do you think I am on weddingbee when I should be working). I highly reccomend the book “The conscious bride”
Post # 7
@ Ms. Meowerson – You’re totally right; she’s been wonderful and supportive about the entire thing and it’s not her fault at all that she doesn’t live in weddingland lol; I just needed a place to vent a little
@ rplatzer – thanks it feels good to know someone else has been though and felt this way too. Not b/c I wish it on you lol but it’s nice to know it’s “normal” I guess. I feel bad b/c she really has been great but explaining things in depth over and over gets so old so fast.
@ tnason – I’m actually midly obsessed with A Practical Wedding. I think I read it every other day lol. It’s an amazing site. I promise I really do have things in perspective and I know what’s important about the whole thing but like I said – just needed a place to vent a little.