I love people's hypocrisy… [slight vent]

posted 3 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t think it was very tactful of your FI to put a FB post about it. It kind of invites drama like that. Other than that, you’re right..people are really rude. Don’t take it too personally, though. Most people who haven’t gone through planning a wedding don’t know proper etiquette regarding weddings.

 

Post # 4
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

People always want to give their opinions about other people’s weddings.

My advice is to not open yourself up for it. When you share information about your wedding people assume you’re asking for their misguided opinions. 

Post # 5
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@AlwaysSunny:  +1. Vent to each other – no harm there. When you tell other people, you are essentially inviting them to give their opinions/solutions, unfortunately.

Post # 6
Member
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@krayzay87:  I totally understand your rant, but I will tell you what worked for me: keeping quiet about wedding planning. I kept it off Facebook and only asked a select few who had experiences in wedding planning for advice. By keeping mum, I kept the unsolicited comments/advice/opinions to a minimum.

Post # 7
Member
2720 posts
Sugar bee

Definitely stop sharing on Facebook. It’s so easy for people to comment, state opinions there, or fish for an invitation. Yeah, weddings unfortunately bring out the worst in people. Some people honestly feel like they are actually helping out and supporting you by saying these things too.

I wanted to elope but my MIL did not want us to elope so we had a (mostly) family only wedding. Would this be possible for you? It makes it so that no friends are invited so no feelings get hurt when one friend is invited over another.

Post # 8
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@krayzay87:  I think that they might be trying to be supportive of you either way. If you do elope, they’ll be happy for you, but if you don’t, they’ll look forward to the celebration.

Try not to see it as conflicting pressure… but as love and support. Wedding planning is certainly stressful, but don’t let it become worse than it should be… try to see their good intentions, and don’t focus on the conflicting messages. 🙂

EDIT: Also, I can agree with other bees’ advice about not sharing on Facebook. It can be a great drama-reduction measure. If people see that you’re planning, but then don’t get invited, that can cause hurt feelings, and can create more pressure on you to invite them. I’m leaving all my wedding planning off of Facebook, and hoping to just fly under the radar with people who aren’t invited.

Post # 9
Member
6274 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

you put it out there on FB, no it is quite natural for the responses that came. freedom of speech or type…

and yes, eloping is a way to solve the guest list issue.

so either ignore the comments or don’t post stuff.

also, how are they being hypocrites?

 

 

Post # 10
Member
279 posts
Helper bee

I make a habit of not talking wedding talk with anyone that is not invited which means I’m not running into this issue or posting things online

Post # 11
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You can easily control this. Don’t discuss issues with wedding planning on social media. It’s really rude to be sharing information about the invitation list with people who are not going to be invited.

Post # 12
Hostess
9919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@krayzay87:  totally get where you’re coming from.  I’ve had to be very selective who is invited from my recent grad class, and the 2 (yes 2 out of 55) people who are invited are fully aware they are the only 2 but insist on asking me about the wedding in front of others which makes me uncomfrotable – I try to change the subject but it doesn’t work.

Your FH shouldn’t have posted to facebook, and moving forward I would refrain from posting wedding items on facebook (Other than the engagment, I said yes to the dress, and 6 months from today I’ll be a MRS, I haven’t posted anything on facebook about the wedding).

Post # 13
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@krayzay87:  You said “I really wish some people would think before speaking. Or in this case, type.”

I feel like your post is hypocritical. Your FI should not have posted that on Facebook.

Post # 14
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I have no idea why, but people feel totally fine with making comments about weight gain/loss, pregnancy/childbirth/parenting, and weddings.

Which is bizarre, because all of those are huge personal milestones! I don’t get it.

Post # 15
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@MsGinkgo:  I’m in a similar boat with family members right now. We have a pretty limited guest list, and while parents, siblings, and grandparents are invited, aunts and uncles and cousins are not. Christmas was a little weird… immediate family members brought up wedding plans in front of aunts and uncles multiple times, even though they know the guest list situation! I’m making an effort not to talk about the wedding in front of anyone who’s not invited, but they’re not making it easy for me.

Post # 16
Member
6882 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

Yeah, I agree with PPs. Why put that on your fb??? Especially when you know most who read it are not invited? That was inviting drama. What did you honestly expect people to say? Nothing?

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