(Closed) I love sex, but I need to VENT!

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Thats sounds really rough.  I don’t know if it will help any, but I had a friend who would get yeast infections if she used lube to often- once in a while she did okay, but when it was on a regular basis, she seemed to end up with them alot.  Could you try to play with yourself a bit and see what gets you wet without lube and then work that into what you and FI do.  Maybe try talking to a counselor- there are ones that specialize in sexual relations who might be able to help you and FI get on the same page.

Post # 4
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I had so many problems with hormonal birth control and my gyno just kept switching me to another one promising that we just ahd to find the right one. Eventually, I gave up and just stopped. I could not get wet, sex was uncomfortable, I couldn’t really get fully invested in sex even though I wanted to be, I gained weight, I got moody… just terrible. I’d rather risk getting pregnant and use condoms and be careful. Oh, and the yeast infections… haven’t had any before or after the pill, only while on it.

Post # 5
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Maybe you need to talk to your doctor about the effects that you are experiencing and see if they have any suggestions? Perhaps the pill is no longer right for you? I personally use nuvaring and I love it! I have been on it for years and have not noticed any problems in that area’s functionality.You might want to try to use some lube though if you plan on staying on the pill. Just explain to him what the pill is known to do with regards to that and that it isn’t that you aren’t turned on.

I can see why he could be offended by the yeast infection after oral comment, but maybe it is something that he just isn’t aware of. Like maybe he isn’t as clean as he could be? I know sometimes it is hard to be like “hey go wash your hands and brush your teeth” while things start to get hot, but some guys jobs are dirty and maybe they didn’t clean up after work as well as they should before they start touching your sensitive areas.

You don’t have to be pushy about it, but for example minty mouths feel kind of fun, so you could tell him you’d like him to brush his teeth because you like how it feels after that. (And his mouth being clean can help you figure out if it is something from him giving you these infections). Fortunately and unfortunately my fiance drinks and chews – both of which are smells that I have no tolerance for. So he isn’t offended when I ask him to do these things because he knows I can get into it more if I’m not smelling them.

As for just not wanting sex. To cure that you probably just need to do it more. If it isn’t happening there isn’t going to be much of a drive for it. I have trouble with it also because of his physical issues. He has a very demanding job and he does occasionally pull muscles, like your fiances neck issue, or hurt his back. Mine also recently started having gout issues which have left him very uncomfortable. And of course this is when I am most wanting to get busy so it’s frustrating. I know that when he wants to I’ll feel too tired of trying, but I’ll do it anyway just to keep myself wanting to, and then after that I’ll be fine again and wanting to : )

Stress is very hard to manage, and I know it too. I’m also a full time employee also going to school full time, and trying to plan this wedding. It is stressful. But I also feel that sex is an awesome stress relief and I feel great afterwards. I’m alright to miss a little sleep for that. Quickies on your long days work too, just spend some time when you have it to really appreciate eachother.

Post # 6
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I used to work at a daycare and I got those molluscum bumps too. I guess they are common in children. They were horrible and lasted over 6 months. It totally killed the mood, man. But I think things will get better for you… maybe just try to get in touch with your own sexual side before involving him. I’ve heard that masturbating alone, giving yourself O’s, will make you more interested in sex. Also, fantasies always get me going… just try to tap into that more.

I think the bees above said a lot of great things already so hopefully something is helpful here. Good luck!!

Post # 9
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Have you tried coconut oil for lube? That stuff is AMAZING! You should google uses for coconut oil. I live by it!

Post # 10
Member
2414 posts
Buzzing bee

I have had the same problem, and K-Y Liquibeads have been a life saver.

 

Also — your FI really needs to not give you a hard time about wanting to use lube. My goodness.

Post # 12
Member
1456 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I second the coconut oil for lube. When it dries my skin feels soft, instead of sticky like with others and it’s supposed to be anti-bacterial or something, so maybe it would help with your yeast infections (it’s supposed to help prevent UTIs)

Post # 14
Member
2414 posts
Buzzing bee

@MsBlackberry:  

 

Oh no! I didn’t know that! I hope they bring them back soon!

I stocked up on them when Amazon had a sale a couple of months ago. I probably have enough to get me through the rest of the year… geeze!

Post # 15
Member
3689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Yes, pills can dry you out and also make you more susceptible to yeast infections.  On Ortho TriCyclen, I got a lot of yeast infections and was really moody.  I haven’t had another yeast infection since I stopped taking those particular pills 6 years ago.  On Yaz, I had great skin, and was not moody, but I was really dry, so sex became so painful that I couldn’t do it more than once every couple of months (yes, months).  Switched to Generess Fe, and sex was enjoyable again, but I gained weight and my skin broke out.  

Post # 16
Member
3689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Yes, pills can dry you out and also make you more susceptible to yeast infections.  On Ortho TriCyclen, I got a lot of yeast infections and was really moody.  I haven’t had another yeast infection since I stopped taking those particular pills 6 years ago.  On Yaz, I had great skin, and was not moody, but I was really dry, so sex became so painful that I couldn’t do it more than once every couple of months (yes, months).  Switched to Generess Fe, and sex was enjoyable again, but I gained weight and my skin broke out.  Generess also made me pissed off at everything, so I need to find a new pill.

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