I love the bee but sometimes…

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m in the same boat! I’m putting myself through college, paying my own rent, cooking my own cheap dinners. I have a small, piddly amount of savings. Enough to cover me if something goes terribly wrong, I can still get groceries that month. 

My high school grad dress was $200. I bought half, my mom pitched in half. I knew girls who were getting flown down to the States to get $1500+ gowns. FOR GRAD. In a city with 50, 000 people! Who are you going to impress?! The same kids you went to kindergarten with? Aah!

But, I feel you! You’re so not alone! 

Post # 4
1584 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Little_Hedgy:  I know how you feel!!! I am 28, making an adequate salary, but my city is one of the most expensive in the country, and we are a long ways off from being able to afford a house yet! We are trying to do a relatively ‘budget’ wedding, but its still costing us around $13-14K.
Trust me, there are MANY of us out there! Don’t feel bad!

Post # 5
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

It sounds to me like you’re in control of your life. I know plenty of people who aren’t.

I know you know this, but comparing yourself to others isn’t helpful… yet we all do it. Don’t foget that lots of the $30K wedding budgets involve people going into debt or delaying buying a house… it’s not always that people can just afford to plunk down that kind of cash.

We could do it, but we choose not to. Our wedding budget is under $2,000.

Just throwing this out there, but could you move elsewhere? It sounds like you’re stuck in a small town and don’t necessarily want to be. It sounds like you have the tools (work ethic etc.) to be successful anywhere. You do sound like a “real” adult.

I live in an area where people make good money in general, but it’s winter for 7-8 months of the year. It sucks. We are doing everything we can to get out. This will mean taking a massive pay cut (I won’t be working initially and SO will be making a lot less than what he does now), but to us it’s worth it if we’re somewhere warm. You can’t always evaluate quality of life based on salary alone. Of course money helps and can make life much easier… you just have to find a balance that is right for you.

Post # 6
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I hear you! I don’t have savings, or a good job, and I’m going back to school

Post # 8
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Oh honey. A lot of people on the internet embellish and flat out lie, or only answer the post because they have something to brag about. And what a lot of people won’t tell you is that they have savings because their parents have paid for everything. When I was 25 I was in graduate school and making maybe $30K a year, nothing glamorous. Don’t fret, money and success will come 🙂

Post # 9
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

you are not alone! i feel like sometimes i’m not ready for a wedding until FI and i figure lots of things out. don’t worry… it will all figure itself out in time. 🙂

Post # 10
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I know exactly how you’re feeling. I remember stumbling into one of the “how much do you and your SO make as a couple” thread and just emotionally shutting down when the first, like, twenty posts were from couples making 120k+. We’re not badly off in any way, shape or form, though we do currently rent and are saving up for a house, but it really made me feel inadequate, too. I also wondered if there’s a lot of bees like us out there that were just too embarrassed by the flood of high-income-earner responses to respond with their situations. But then I wondered if that was just me trying to justify it, hahah.

I just try to remember that, we’re starting off in our lives and we’re happy and working towards our future plans, even if they’re not in place now. 🙂

Post # 11
8847 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

You’re not alone, for sure.  I made under 15k a year until I was 30!  (College, crappy “building experience” jobs in my field, graduate school, etc.)  Just keep working at your education and be realistic about the viability of the career you’re going into, and you’ll get there.  xox

Post # 12
819 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@Little_Hedgy:  My gooooooooooooodness I could’ve written this post!! I am 100% with you on this.

I have taken care of myself financially since I was 16 years old (with the exception of rent, I lived with my parents). If I wanted something for myself or even for school, *I* had to pay for it. I’m currently putting myself through college. I couldn’t go off to a university at 18 like everyone else did because I HAD to have a full time job just to pay my bills and take care of myself. I’ll be going to school full time and working full time.

It baffles me the number of Bees who have even $5,000 in savings, not to mention $20,000 who have graduated college with little to no student loan debt and own huge beautiful houses. I just can’t wrap my mind around it. It almost makes me resent my parents because they couldn’t offer me things like my first car or pay for my college like it seems with sooooooo many other people my age.


Post # 13
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014


I figured aside from my previous post I should mention that both my parents and FI’s parents started off pretty destitute in their 20’s. FI’s parents like to tell us stories about how his dad could only afford one pair of pants and his mom sewed all her own clothes. They now own a huge sailboat and travel a ton while living comfortably. My parents are also comfortable now. I think it’s just the way things normally progress so that when you get to that point you appreciate it! Smile Just keep swimming.

Post # 14
114 posts
Blushing bee

You’re not alone, there are a lot of us out there! I quit my great job and went to graduate school at the same time most of friends were just getting really good jobs. Now, 3 years later, I have literally $0 and all those same friends are buying houses or making upwards of 60K per year. Do I feel down about myself while I’m here, still unemployed? Absolutely. But my life is pretty great otherwise, and I am so glad for the things I accomplished since I quit, and I know I will be back in the workforce soon and in the right place, and you will be, too!

Post # 15
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Little_Hedgy:  I feel the same way sometimes but you know what? This site is global, so what seems like an overachievement to some people is normal for others. All my friends are in their mid-30’s and do they own houses? Pssshyeah right! They are all living paycheck to paycheck to pay rent on their apartments. That’s what’s normal for people like us. We don’t consider ourselves poor because of it. So don’t compare your life to those of other people. 

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