- 6 years ago
Hello Lovely Bees,
I’ve been a short term stalker on these boards since I stumbled across the site when I was made a bridesmaid for my friends wedding (which was awesome!) and the site was super helpful. Now I thought I’d introduce myself and get on here for my own support!
I’ve been living with my man for over two and a half years, together for nearly three. We knew each other in highschool and reconnected after 15 years. we had both come out of serious relationship breakups (his marriage and mine was engaged and living together) Our relationship was NOT a factor in these breakups. We are in our early thirties with three kids (two mine, one his) and no plans for any more. Unless we win a million dollars. 🙂
He is awesome. I can honestly say he is the best partner and lover ive ever had, he is a fantastic dad to our kids, he is funny, smart, sexy as hell, he loves me so much, loves my family and friends and would help anyone in a heart beat. But. His exwife. Sigh. I really try not to speak badly about people as there is always two sides to stories etc but she has made his and my life pretty torturous.
The whole time we have been together has been a mess of lawyers, court, tears and headaches with continuous battles with her over custody and money(we have shared custody now of his little one, after a year long fight and tens of thousands of dollars on lawyers as she would not agree to mediation). Him and I don’t fight about this stuff, it’s us trying to hold out against her bitterness and seemingly endless greed. Please believe me when i say he has been over generous and accomodating to her, unfortunately we and many other health professionals believe she has undiagnosed borderline personality disorder and other mental health problems. We dont believe our daughter is in physical danger but am concerned about the things she is being told. Manipulating things to twist her view of us. 🙁 We are considering going for sole custody.
This has frozen him. He (and pretty understandably) cannot seem to do anything to think of our future because he’s overwhelmed with our relationship, his job, raising our kids and this huge fight.
We’ve talked about marriage, I only want something extremely low key and would be happy just to be engaged with a simple silver ring and not get married for years. He has said he wants to marry me, calls me his wife already (technically here in Australia we are De Facto after two + years living together). He’s said it’s the mans job to propose, he wants to surprise me and all that but will not give me timeline or any idea. I think that’s a load of happy horsesh*t as we are a modern couple and I believe it should be something discussed.
He knows what i want and i so do not ask him for much. But….. I know he has a huge amount on his plate right now and I don’t want to add to it. We’re in the middle of renovating my house to sell for something bigger so we’ll all fit better but that will be delayed by the new trial his ex is forcing us into. It annoys the ham and eggs out of me about this but I wouldn’t leave him if he didn’t propose. It would just be the icing on the cake. We’ve been through so much other stuff and he is really supportive of me; I’m happy with him and our wonderful blended family. We’ve just started family counseling so we can all be on the same page with the kids and our parenting and so everyone feels like they have a voice. it’s going well.
Phew. Thanks if you stuck with me, I feel so much better! I’m looking forward to hanging with you Bees, please be gentle with me I’m a bit frayed around the edges this week. 🙂
Big grins, PlusOne.