"I love you" – I want to hear your stories!

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
289 posts
Helper bee

This has been an inside joke for a while – My fiancé said it 2 years ago, about two months in, at night during a date. I blurted out ‘You can’t know that!” I cited back to him studies about the ‘honeymoon period’ of relationships (we both have psychology education.) I’ll never forget his face – he didn’t know what to do! 

I had recently escaped a physically abusive relationship, and I guess I wasn’t ready to trust anyone yet. Lucky for me, my fiancé is a patient man and told me he’d wait until I believed him. A few months later I finally conceded that it wasn’t just a honeymoon period – I think I needed time to learn to trust another person again. Now we’re a little less than a year and a half away from our wedding and I know he’s willing to work on things with me, and because of my tendency to have panic attacks during arguments or stressful times, that is so, so important. 

To be fair – there are a lot of studies on the honeymoon period! It’s just probably not the nicest thing to say back to someone who has just confessed his love to you. 😂 Now sometimes I’ll tell him I love him, and he says “YOU CANT KNOW THAT!” 

Post # 47
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

He said it first! We were dating for 4 days- we went through an EXTREMELY traumatic first few days of dating with a family member passing away the day after our first date. It was the first day we had really been alone and relaxed watching a movie, and he kept making these sigh noises like he was frustrated. And I asked him what was wrong and he said “um…I want to tell you something but i know people get freaked out if you say it too soon and I don’t want to do that to you.” And I told him just say what you want to and he told me he loved me 🙂 and I said it back, it was perfect. After all we had been through those past few days we just knew we loved each other.

Post # 48
Member
49 posts
Newbee

We met online, talked for 2 1/2 years before we finally got to meet in person and go on a date. 4 days after he asked me to be his girlfriend, we had just got back to my house after a date (although after our 1st date 2 weeks before hand we were pretty much inseparable) and I was either playfully arguing with him or jokingly teasing him and he said “well I do love you so…” and I just kind of frozen for a second before saying it back. 7 months tomorrow we’ve been dating. He told me 2 weeks ago he bought the ring (had to get it sized) but again sitting in the car he asked me “if I asked you to marry me without a ring would you say yes?” I responded with of course even though it’d be a little disheartening, then he asked “what if I had a ring and just didn’t have it on me?” And I again responded “yes” he told me he had one, showed me the receipt for the protection plan and asked, stating that he was just too excited he couldn’t wait. The official proposal is coming any day and I know none of the details 

Post # 49
Member
760 posts
Busy bee

Really cute idea for a thread! I don’t remember the exact time he fully said it. I remember it was about 4 months into our relationship, but I can conjure up that exact memory. 

However, I do remember the first time he started to feel that way. I was 18, he was 19. We were college freshmen trying to figure out if it was right to date each other. Did either of us actually want a relationship? The answer was no. But we felt so connected with each other and neither of us were really okay with the other just messing around with other people. So we decided we needed to at least TRY with the relationship, even if it went against the social norms of college. And I am so, so happy that we took that leap. Four years later, living together, graduated and moving onto new adventures…he’s exactly who I want by my side. 

About a 2 months into dating he was walking me back to my dorm room when it happened. We were hanging out in the hallway and kind of just hugging each other after a nice evening spent together, and he just kind of whispered, “I think I’m falling in love with you.” 

I had the worst reaction that one could. I broke from his hug and told him he couldn’t feel that way, it wasn’t real, it was infactuation, and it was way too early. He looked so defeated and I felt so bad after. I was just scared. I couldn’t process that it could actually be real. That there actually WASN’T anything wrong with saying it, as long as you felt it was real. 

To this day we remember how I reacted and get a laugh out of it. He said that, while it hurt a bit to see me react that way, my rational mindset and logic was something he loved about me. But both times, he said it first. I was quick to follow:)

Post # 50
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Charliejeorge :  I met my now hubby online too. We started dating in December. My hubby said it to me first and it was super sweet. It was 1:15am the morning of my birthday. We were cuddling on the couch and he had made me a ‘ just us two early birthday dinner’ because I was having a family birthday party on my actual birthday. I was about to go home for the night and he said something along the lines of – I’m saying this to you but I don’t expect anything back from you because we are only 3 months in but I want to tell you that you are amazing and you make me really happy and Ive fallen in love with you…

It was super sweet and beautiful. For the 10 years we’ve been together he always calls me or wakes me up at 1:15 am on the anniversary date that he first told me he loved me and tells me he loves me again. I haven’t ever actually told anyone IRL that he does that because most would probably roll their eyes but it touches my heart that he does this every year. He isn’t one with a lot of words so it is super lovely that he does it.

 

Post # 51
Member
261 posts
Helper bee

Charliejeorge :  I said I love you, one week after he “officially” asked me to be his girlfriend. In my defense, we had been best friends for a year, and dating for several months, but he hadn’t realized he had to specify. (There is a five year age gap between us, and he still doesn’t understand why I didn’t just automatically become his girlfriend after a few dates!)

I knew he loved me back, but he froze and said, “Ohhh… I really care about you a lot…” and hugged me. I felt humiliated. I was PMSing and I had bumped into my ex that day, so I was feeling very vulnerable. I started crying, and he felt HORRIBLE. It was awkward, but I knew he did feel it and was just not ready to say it. He said it seven days later, and teared up as he said it. He said he loved me so much, but he didn’t want to rush into saying it to soon, but he has told me every single day since. And now we are married! I have never doubted his love for me. <3

Post # 52
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee

Charliejeorge :  he said it first about 3.5 years in. I was upset about something and he just hugged me and said: ‘you know I love you’. While it may sound like  a long time, he consistently showed me with his actions he loves me and I never felt the need for him to say it as day to day I didn’t feel his love lacking ( for background my ex husband used to text/email/Facebook/ call me to say he loves me a number of times a day every day so it’s not like I wasn’t used to be told that; it’s just my current SO’s actions are so prominent and living without having to say anything).

Post # 53
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I was throwing around “i love you’s” all the time, but the meaning of those words were much more important and stronger to him. He didn’t say it until 3 months in, and it was really cute how he was searching up things like “when should you say ‘i love you'” and asking his forum buddies if 3 months was too early. It was really adorable. 🙂 Especially since he had already been in 2 relationships (1 long term) before me. 

Post # 54
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

We met online and talked for 3 months before meeting in person.  About 2 months in, he would always say “I adore you” during our Skype convos and confessed that he was saying it because he loved me but he wanted to see if it was real in person.  The day after we met in person, he told me he loved me while we were lying in bed one morning.  He tells me he loves me everyday but I kind of miss “I adore you”, it touched me.

Post # 55
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

He did! We were laying in bed and I was trying really hard to get the words “I love you” out of my mouth, but I was super shy and super scared. I hadn’t said those words to anyone in about 5 years and totally lost any mojo I once had. He could tell I was trying to get it out and just turned to me and said, “You know I love you, right?” It was a HUGE relief and I could finally say it back without fear!

Post # 58
Member
319 posts
Helper bee

I said it first, but he said it back right away and said he’d been wanting to say it but didn’t want to scare me. 🙂 It was about 3 months in, and he’d just taken me to meet his family a few hours away, so even though it was early and I was nervous to say it, I did feel fairly secure in the relationship and his feelings for me. We were staying at a cute B&B, lying in bed with a fire in the fireplace, so it just felt like the right romantic moment to say it.    

Post # 59
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

About 6 months into our relationship we went camping together and decided to drink a bottle of whiskey. As we were drunkenly laying and laughing with each other next to the fire I told him I loved him cause I just couldn’t hold it it any longer (the whiskey didn’t help)! Anyways, he told me he wasn’t ready to say that to me yet and that’s when I knew I wanted to marry him. Sounds weird and I was hurt, but I knew in that moment that I could trust him and appreciated his honesty.

I thought about that night for months and kept wondering if he would ever say it!  Finally on a flight back to my hometown 5 months later (first time he would be meeting a majority of my family) he told me he loved me right before the plane took off. It was so romantic and I was glad he waited until the perfect moment. 

Post # 60
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

We were in his car, just sitting at a park, and I knew I was falling really hard for this guy. Our story is a little crazy- we weren’t even “officially dating” at that point, actually, our relationship (or whatever it was at the time) was secret because I was barely 17 and my parents weren’t exactly in approval (which is dumb because they totally adore him now- they just didn’t know him at the time) anyway, he had been texting me with vague things for weeks like ‘I think I’m falling in love with you’ and etc, but never outright said it. But I knew, I totally knew that he was in love with me, which gave me time to asses MY feelings, and decide if I wanted this “thing” to go further. I did. In his car, I was like,  “hey Mr. Halo094…. What would you say, or how would you feel if I told you… I could love you?” And he immediately just grabbed me and kissed me. He didn’t say it back immediately, which made me nervous for a second, but then he did, and he said he actually had been feeling it for awhile, but he didn’t know how to tell me because it was so early and we hadn’t defined anything of “us” yet to anyone, much less ourselves. It might seem corny or cliche, but I kind of feel like we were a love-at-first-sight sort of deal, we both had this unexplainable need to just BE together, even before we hardly knew each other… 5 years later, we are married and are now expecting our first child 🙂 

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