Post # 1
I was thinking. My DH rarely actually tells me he loves me. Four days into our honeymoon I pointed it out to him that he had not said it once since we have been married. He apologized and said it. That was 4/20/11. Yesterday he kind of implied it again. I’m sure it will be a couple of months before anything resembling an “I love you.” comes out of his mouth again.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not venting or complaining at all. I knew who I was marrying and he is not at all mushy gushy in any kind of way and I am okay with that. He shows me that he loves me several times per day. IMO it’s the little things that count. My ex husband told me all the time but he was a real jerk. So for me, actions speak louder than words.
I was wondering two things. How often does your SO tell you he loves you? And is it enough for you or not?
Post # 3
He tells me atleast twice a day. He grew up in a family where it was rarely said, which is weird to me how much he says it. We are long distance though, so we will see if that changes once we are married. It is important to me, but actions really do speak louder than words.
Post # 4
All the time. He will just send me random texts of it. However, he didn’t really before we were married.
Post # 5
He is more mushy now that we are married, but we still don’t say it every day.
Post # 6
I absolutely agree that actions speak louder than words.
FI and I tell each other we love each other many times a day.
Post # 7
We say it all the time, probably to the point it annoys people lol. Every time we leave each other, get off the phone, or separate for any reason we say it. I really appreciate it, it makes me feel secure.
Post # 8
All the time! I agree that actions speak louder than words, but I also know that FI and I both need the words as affirmation. We read 5 Love Languages together and when we got to the part where some people really need words of affirmation, we laughed ’cause we already knew that one!
Post # 9
@2ndtime: He tells me several times a day and I have to say that it’s the perfect amount for me since I really thrive on communicating feelings and of course being affectionate (holding hands, etc). He’s always been like that so I didn’t have to work on it. But my previous relationship the guy did not hold my hand or say how he felt–and it always made me feel so insecure and in the end I just couldn’t be with someone like that.
But I think it’s all about what works for you in a relationship. Some people are perfectly fine with saying how they feel once in a blue moon, while others (like me) thrive on expressing feelings all the time. Maybe if it bothers you consider having a talk with him and see if you can reach a happy medium. In the end, if he expresses his love in other ways, that’s still love 🙂
Post # 10
FI tells me serveral times a day and he also shows me in many other ways.
He was the first to say I love you in our relationship. I do love that guy so much.<3
Post # 11
@MrsCoachBtoBee … same here, we probably annoy people as well…. FI tells me several times each day. He has been doing that since the day we said ‘I love you’. It’s enough for me and he shows me that he loves me as well which I like. We are very affectionate with one another and we both like that…
Post # 12
My FI tells me maybe 3-5x a week. We don’t say it as a routine (i.e. when you get off the phone or when we go to bed). He definitely says it most often when I’m away at travel (then its like 2x a day). I think ti woudl bother me if he said it as a routine, how much he says it is the perfect amount for me! Though, I can relate to you because my FI rarely says I’m pretty or I look nice. I’ve brought it up to him and he says he just doesn’t feel right to him, and of course he thinks I”m pretty….
I, like you, have accepted that that’s just not really him.
Post # 13
He always says it to me in the morning before he leaves for work, and before we go to bed. He’ll usually say it at least a couple other times (or text it) in a day. He’s always been the more affectionate of us, though now I tell him just as often. He almost never says it in a “throw away” why (like if you’re just saying bye). His voice is full of meaning! I was never so mushy before, lol.
Post # 14
Every once in a while he might say it or I will say it. I think if it is said all the time it kinda just becomes a routine and seems less meaningful