- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Before I start…I realize this post is going to draw some negative comments which is understandable but I already realize I made a mistake so am looking for suggestions rather than a lecture.
I got married in August to my fiance of a year, SO of 6 years. We have had many ups and downs over the past years but getting married seemed to be the next step. Not that we only got married for that reason. My husband is a great guy but has a nasty temper and we fight more than we get along. We are definitely far from acting as “newlyweds”. Our first half a year of marriage has been filled with more unhappy moments than happy.
So about a week ago we (my husband and I, along with a bunch of friends) were out at the bar. One of my guy friends was there. We have always had an attraction to each other but never acted on it. We talk almost every day. He is an amazing friend and I can honestly say that I love him. Have never thought of it in a relationship way, but the more I think about it I think it is more than just friendship.
That night we were at the bar my husband left early (he had to get up early the next morning), and I stayed out. I have to add my husband left mad and grabbed my arm (he does this occasionally but has never hit me, hence the temper). The bar closed around 1am and I ended up leaving with my guy friend. All we were going to do was drive around after bar then he was going to take me home. Anyway, to make a long story short we ended up at his place and slept together. We fell asleep and he ended up taking me home at 6am. I have not been on birth control for about a year and that would have been around the time I was ovulating.
I know I made a mistake and I feel like a terrible person. My husband knows I stayed at his house and was upset about that (which I don’t blame him, I would have felt the same), but he doesn’t know that anything happened. I also realize I should be upfront with him and tell him the truth but I have been so freaked out that I could be pregnant that I have been waiting. My husband and I are not happy together. We have both said if we could go back we wouldn’t’ have got married when we did.
What would you do? If I am pregnant I cannot stay with my husband knowing I am having someone else’s baby. AHHH this is horrible in so many ways. It’s too early to take a preg test. Please any suggestions would be much appreciated. Or if anyone has been in my position. I am a good person who made a mistake.