I may not be able to become a parent :(

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Laurenplusalex:  First, I am really sorry. Second, you are far from the first person to be in those shoes. It is a little extra work, but you can find an agency that will adopt to you, especially if you are willing to adopt an older child. I really recommend trying and seeing what places say. You never know.

Post # 5
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Laurenplusalex:  Agree with poster above – if you are open re age/race, you likely still will be able to adopt.  I have friends with more serious health issues than depression who have adopted.

Post # 7
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Laurenplusalex:  Please try not to worry then!  You will be a parent in whatever way you are meant to be, but if you want it to happen, it will.

Post # 8
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

I hate to sound ignorant but have you discussed with your doctor the possibility of going through with a pregnancy while on your medication? I have a friend who was on medication for depression (not sure which one) and she tried weening herself off in order to get pregnant and she got really sick so she went back on it. She went through her whole pregnancy taking it and just gave birth to a healthy baby girl last month 🙂 she has chosen not to breastfeed in order to not prolong the baby’s possible exposure to the medication but my point is that both her and baby were okay despite her taking the meds.

Post # 9
Member
2302 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@Laurenplusalex:  don’t stress – there are many ways to be a parent. one example close – ish to me is a friend of my mother’s. he and his wife were not able to have children but fostered two brothers, an infant and a toddler. They fostered them for about 6 months before choosing to start the formal adoption process. there are many children in the foster care system who need safe, happy homes and there may be different requirements for fostering and then adopting that you’d be able to look into. 

 

i think you’ll find that with a little research you’ll be able to find adoption agencies etc who will be happy to explore your options with you. mental health issues are very common and a willingness to understand and treat your condition while being the best parent you can be doesn’t make you a liability as a guardian. chin up!

Post # 12
Member
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Sorry you’re going through this :(.  On the other hand my mother is a total fruit loop.  I love her but, she’s crazy.  As in I tell people that, and they laugh and say “oh, everyone one says that”, then they meet her and say “Your mom is nuts”.

On the plus side, crazy as she is I always knew she loved me.  I never doubted it.  Even though I knew she wished I was a girly girl and I’m about as tomboy as can be from birth, I still knew she loved me.  She often didn’t make sense and for somethings I didn’t understand until I was older… but I always 100% knew she loved me.

Don’t let your issues stop you from having a child unless you really don’t think you can love that child.  Love and HONESTY overcomes a lot.  My mom wasn’t really honest until I was mid teens, but once she was honest things were a lot easier.  She said “I don’t care if I’m right, I just want to argue.”…. hit me like a ton of bricks… ok, cool… then I can walk away and not try to make sense of nonsense.  That sort of thing changed my life, I’m sure your situation is different… or maybe it isn’t…. one of my best friends is bipolar and has had a hard time finding meds that work long term… she does some pretty crappy things, but thanks to my mom, I really get that she’s having a hard time with life and while I get caught in it now and then, I know it really hurts her to hurt me.

Post # 14
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Laurenplusalex:  forgive my ignorance, I have no cle what adoption processes are like but why do you have to disclose that information??

Post # 15
Member
3128 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@MrsWBS:  I am pretty sure you have to go through a psychiatric evaluation when you are adopting, and I think they also go through your financial and I am guessing your medical records as well. They want to make sure the child is going to a safe and healthy home with someone who will be able to care for him/her for a long period of time. We vaguely started looking at fostering/adopting but decided we wanted to wait until we were quite a bit older so we didn’t delve too far into the requirements.

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