I might be a VERY pregnant bridesmaid…what to do?!?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
6026 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Order a couple yards of extra fabric. If it’s from the same dye lot, a seamstress can add a panel or extension fairly easily. If you’re not pregnant and don’t need the alterations you’re only out the cost of the extra fabric which shouldn’t be too much. 

Post # 4
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@SweetMelissa429:  I would not tell her. Order the dress you usually would, and then privately call the bridal shop and ask about their return policy for a larger size incase of pregnancy. Worst thing you will have to buy another dress, but I’d personally rather do that than have the bride worried right away about something that might not be an issue.

Or having lots of people know about your ttc journey, and being asked constantly about it–that will be very painful if the journey is not easy.

Post # 5
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would buy two sizes up “You know, just to be safe! You know how bridal sizing is”, and buy an extra few yards of fabric, just in case.

Or you could buy the dress in the longest length available, and just have the seamstress raise the waist to an empire waist!

Post # 7
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Wow, she is having you order your dress super early! Is there a reason you need to order your dress 9 months early? I would just wait until the last minute to order the dress so that you will hopefully have a better idea of what size you will be. If she asks about it, just say you want to wait because of money issues or something. I wouldn’t tell people about ttc.

If you do have to order now. I would order the dress a size or two bigger plus get some extra fabric. That way it can be altered down to fit you if you aren’t much bigger than you are now and you will have extra fabric incase you are much bigger. I was a bridesmaid at 20 weeks and although I wasn’t as far along, my body was changing by the day. I waited as long as possible to get my dress and ordered a size bigger. I also waited as long as possible to get alterations done and picked up my dress only a week before the wedding. It fit when I picked it up and then when I tried it on 2 days before the wedding, it barely zipped. I called my mom in a  panic and she said she would take a look. Luckily there were pleats on the back of the dress and she took them out to give me more room in the belly and boobs. I was able to zip it and not be incredibly uncomfortable the day of the wedding, but I had no ruching in front like all the other bridesmaids because my belly filled out the dress completely. Oh well!

Post # 9
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@SweetMelissa429:  I am going through the same thing as you. However I am pregnant, and am due September 29th. The wedding will be held on August 3, 2014. My husband and I do not want to tell anyone until our third trimester. So he was saying that we can either tell them we are sorry but cannot be in their wedding, or I just buy a larger dress. The thing with that is they were both recently part of our bridal party. What to do, what to do? It’s difficult. 

Post # 10
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My MOH’s due date is 5 days before my wedding. We are ordering her a gown with an empire waist and extra fabric as a solution to the dress problem. I’m going to tell her that she has to pay for the alterations if the dress needs any based on whether or not she’s had the baby (I’m paying for all the dresses) but I don’t know if she actually will – they are broke and I think she will be inclined to just make do or to sew it herself. Sigh. 

I know your life isn’t just on hold as a BM but I would really urge you to try for a due date of a month before or a month after the wedding. At first I was absolutely livid at my MOH. I’m still upset. I don’t know if she can even attend the wedding. What if she goes into labor the day before my wedding? Or AT it? If she were only going to be 8 months pregnant (or with a 1-month-old) at the wedding these things would be avoided.

Because of the proximity to her due date, and this only, I wish my MOH would have just stepped down and asked to be an honorary bridesmaid, but she hasn’t and probably won’t and I won’t lose her friendship by asking her to step down. Just be aware that if your due date is days from the wedding, that will make everything very difficult.

ETA: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to unload on you about my MOH! I’m such a cranky pants today. I think that I would tell her that you are trying but to keep it hush hush. The reason for this is that if you spend all that time trying to talk her into an empire waist gown, then you have to order extra fabric, if you are pregnant at the wedding she’ll know you were trying without just telling her and being kind of sneaky about it instead of being honest so that you guys could problem solve together. Idk! This is a hard one. Is she the type of bride that would be cool with different dresses?

 

Post # 13
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@SweetMelissa429:  I went through a similar thing with one of my best friends since I was a little girl. Her wedding is in Oct. I made the decision that I would avoid getting pregnant if my due date was within 3 weeks of the wedding on either end, that it would be too stressful for both of us and I absolutely did not want to miss her wedding for anything. I hadn’t 100% decided, but I didn’t want to be 8 months pregnant either, I felt I would be too uncomfortable, so we tried for 2 months, if it didn’t work out we were going to wait at least 2 more months to try again. It sucks, but she is that important to me.

It worked and I am now due a month before her wedding. I am still a little stressed about it, but I have sworn up and down that she gets to be most important to me the day of her wedding and I am commited to that.

If possible, I would recommend doing the same thing. You could cause a lot of stress for everyone if you are due right around the wedding with no idea if you and your husband would even be able to attend. 8-9 months pregnant you are going to be really uncomfortable and have trouble standing around all day taking pictures, etc and could cause a lot more stress on the bride than you intend. Its only a couple of months.

Post # 14
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@SweetMelissa429:  Okay. I didn’t mean to offend you. Good luck to you. Just be prepared that even though it breaks your heart so much to think of dropping out, you may have to last minute – that’s what’s causing me so much stress: not even knowing if my best friend and MOH will be able to attend.

 

Also, I said I WAS livid, at first. Like any person who encounters stress about an important day. I was totally being selfish during that time frame (a few days) but now I’m just sad now that I don’t know and can’t do anything about whether or not my best friend can even attend. 

 

ETA: she also certainly never knew I was upset because I knew it would pass. Please don’t lecture me. It was just a suggestion to skip one month but of course, like I said, your life doesn’t have to be on hold. Good luck.

 

Post # 15
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@NinjaDuck:  +1. The month buffer makes a world of difference!

Post # 16
Member
7929 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I would refuse to order the dresses so early. There is no reason to. Just tell her you’d rather wait so that your dress size is as accurate as possible and for budgeting purposes. You don’t need to order a BM dress until about 4 months before the wedding on the conservative end.

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