- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 1969
I’ve always liked the idea of not dictating which BM dress the BMs have to wear for my wedding. I’d like to keep everyone happy and not force them to buy a dress they don’t like. I had my MoH picked way beginning of the engagement. At that time, I told her that I’ll pick a color and she can pick the style of her own dress. Months into the engagement I decided to add a bridesmaid. My MoH and I talked about the dress and we agreed I’ll pick a designer and color (to avoid different shades) and the girls can pick their own dress. I asked her about her preference for the length, and she said she like full length, but she won’t have nother opportunity to wear full length, so she prefers tea-length for rewearability.
I personally have always loved full-length dresses and my wedding will be in a formal setting. I asked my bridesmaid if she has a preference, and she’s up for whatever I want her to wear, as it is my wedding (though she was happy that I am not telling her specifically which dress to wear. She likes the idea of me picking bunch of dresses and she’d pick from one of the bunch). My FI mentioned that he prefers shorter BM dresses. With that, I thought I “lost” and to keep people happy, I thought tea-length would be the way to go, so I told MoH that we’ll go with tea-length.
Yesterday I started looking more seriously at the BM dresses, and I am finding the ones I like the most are the full-length ones. My FI told me to just make the girls wear whatever I want them to wear (he seems ok with full-length now), but that would go against what I thought I wanted to do – give them the freedom.
It seems that my BM is open to anything so I think she’ll be ok with whatever I decide, however, my MoH has already voiced her preference with the tea-length (for rewearability reasons). I know she’s also very frugal and I don’t want her to spend too much money (full length dresss are generally more expensive, right?)
That leaves me this dilemma.. Is it ok for me to go back on my words and tell her that I want full-length gowns for my wedding? Or, should I convince myself that tea-length dresses are ok and the length of the dresses is not a big deal? I am so torn because I want her to be happy with her dress, but I would also like the dress to fit the feel of the wedding. I am still doing the picking a color/designer and having them pick their own dresses, but I am not sure if I should dictate on the length of the dress.
Another piece of information is that both of them are states away and we will do most of our BM dress shopping online, and have them go to stores and try them on themsevles. I might see my BM in a couple of weeks so we might be able to go shopping at least for a day. So it’ll be tough shopping for dresses!