Post # 1
Ok bees, I’m either going to be jealous or disappointed. Bf an I have been dating for 2.5 years, and we live seperately. He’s been bringing up marriage quite a bit for the past month, but he said it’s not “official”. I have asked for a timeframe of when it will be official because I’m really impatient and this is something I’ve wanted for a while. He says it should be a surprise to me, so I have no idea when it’ll happen.
On one hand, I have a birthday coming up next month and he keeps telling people that it’ll be a big event. That would be amazing.
On the other hand, he asked me to pick out some cool places to visit for a weekend trip. I mentioned a couple places. He then mentions a beautiful mountain spa resort and hotel that I seriously never thought he would take me to. He brought it up again today and said it’s supposed to be gorgeous in the fall and was going to look at dates.
Now, here’s where my thread title comes from. While it would ordinarily be amazing to get a proposal there, we have another couple who we’re good friends with that got engaged there. I know this guy (always the smartass) and he would never let us live down the fact that he took his idea. I don’t know that it will happen there…it may not even happen for a while. But I kinda don’t want it to happen there because of that. I want it to be something he comes up with himself, if that makes sense. Am I being a brat here? Of course I’d NEVER tell him that. I’d really be happy with any proposal. But it’s still in the back of my mind. Please tell me why I should (if it happens there) be ecstatic and make it all about us without thinking of the other couple?
Post # 2
Comeonalready: because the love of your life asked you to spend you life with him is reason enough for most.
Post # 3
Comeonalready: Maybe you could do something there that the other couple hasn’t done? So, if they said they went there for the spa then you say you went there for the fall color. Just make it different somehow.
P.S. I got engaged in Central Park in NYC (where probably hundreds of people get engaged each year) but it was still special because it was MY engagement. Even if you do all the same things that this other couple did, it will still be special because it is yours.
Post # 4
Wonder if… the smartass guy took your SO’s idea and just beat him to it!?
Don’t worry about it, every proposal is special and different even if they happen in the same place
Post # 5
They got engaged when he and I first started dating. But you’re right. Maybe that’ll give the boys something common to talk about. I just hope it happens soon. I keep getting worried that he’s changed his mind! And don’t get me wrong, I would really be happy with any kind of proposal from him in any place; I just know how much crap the friend will give us, and he’ll never let it go.
Post # 6
I think that BEFORE the proposal, it’s fine to say what you would prefer to avoid. If you don’t want to be proposed to on your birthday, or at the spot your arrogant friend proposed, you should say so. I think if a woman knows she would hate to get a proposal in a baseball stadium, or via a ring hidden in her food or drink, she should give the guy a heads-up just to be on the safe side.
If he proposes in a way you don’t like, I always say to just enjoy being engaged. Since you aren’t though, and this is important to you, there’s no reason you can’t say something.
Post # 7
Hate to tell you there aren’t really many places that haven’t been used as engagement spots. What makes it imporant are the people and the intent. Think of all the people who have gotten engaged on the beach, are their engagements any less special? No, because the people and their relationship make it unique. As for your ‘friend’ I’d look at it as it’s really too sad that he has to make himself feel better by putting your proposal down.
Post # 8
Rather than looking at it as something one ‘stole’ from the other, or not original… it’s going to be something that you will share with your friends. Maybe this one’s personality means some teasing and sarcasm… just go with it. In the end you will be more likely to laugh and smile with your good friends over it than be antagonistic.
Try to push this out of your mind, and enjoy the moment between you and your SO. That is what you are there for!
Post # 9
Let me just start out by saying, I was previously married. My ex kind of had a crew of friends, and within that circle, there were some smartasses. I still know these people and still have memories of things being compared, (ie ring sizes, vacations, wives…). You get the picture. That stuff will never go away. So you have to remember that you and your SO are in this together. Nothing that anyone else says or does should ever matter. So what he takes you to the same place. SO WHAT!! It’s not about this other jerk. It’s about the love of your life and you spending your lives together!!!
Post # 10
It is only a competition if you make it one.
Post # 11
Let me tell you, I recently got really emotional with my significant other about marriage stuff, and it resulted in him having a brief period of uncertainty and wanting to postpone things. Talk about putting things in perspective..
When it really comes down to it, the proposal doesn’t matter. The wedding doesn’t even really matter. The fact that the man you want to spend your life with wants to spend his life with you – and that you two are actually going to do it.. that’s what matters.