Post # 1
That just about sums it up.
I am utterly heartbroken. We made the decision to put down my 11 year old greyhound last week after he collapsed from an internal bleed. We had only found out 2 weeks prior that he had a splenic tumor, and it was likely hemangioma sarcoma (an aggressive and terminal form of cancer).
I have been dreading this since the day we got Andy- he was a retired racer and was adopted when he was 5 years old. I already knew that by adopting an older dog we would get less time with him, and I don’t regret it for a minute. He was the sweetest and best dog I could have hoped for – even people who “were not dog people” loved Andy.
DH and I were eating dinner the other night and he dropped a small piece of chicken on the floor. He picked it up, held it, and we both looked at each other – this is when we would typically call for Andy to come to get a little treat. Or when I walked in the door from running errands and he wasn’t trotting to the door to greet me.
It’s these” small” absences that jolt me to the reality that he’s no longer here, and I’m left sobbing.
Anyway, I’m not sure what I’m looking for here… but I felt compelled to acknowledge my own grief and put it in writing. Part of me feels like its self indulgent to be crying a few times a day over a dog, but then I also know its healthy and natural to do so. I have a new baby at home with me, and she (and DH) is helping me through this in so many ways. I am hoping that this acute sadness will be done soon, and I can just look back fondly and smile at the years of memories we had.
Post # 3
@Miss Grey: Oh no, I’m so sorry to hear about this. I can’t even imagine losing my sweet boy. I’m sure you’ll always miss him, but it will get better with time. So sorry.
Post # 4
@Miss Grey: *HUGS* So sorry for your loss. Hopefully the hurt will pass soon and you’ll be able to think back on those memories and smile instead of cry.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry 🙁 Losing a pet is one of the worst things in the world. I can’t imagine the day that I have to say goodbye to my babies. I will cry for weeks. At least your pup had a loving home for the majority of his life. *Hugs*
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX
I am so sorry. It’s not self indulgent. You lost a family member.
Post # 7
@Miss Grey: i know exactly how you feel,i lost my boy just yesterday.
that gut wrenching heartbreaking feeling……im with you. As you say its the small absences that bring the reality home. My boy not being there curled up on the sofa this morning….no hearing him clip clop around on the wooden floors….no eating a meal with him looking at us waiting for his titbits and seeing my children crying for him brings another whole new level. Devastating all round
Time is definately the healer but guess with christmas on the doorstep it just makes it that bit worse. But at some point we will be able to laugh and smile and remember the funny cute things they did without crying.
Thinking of you OP xx
Post # 8
My mom had to put our beloved german shepherd down about two years ago and I can say, the pain gets better. It’s not something that goes away, I don’t think, but it lessens in impact. It took a while to stop looking for her when I went home (I didn’t get to see her before she went because I was at school and 3 hours away) but it really helped to know that she wasn’t in pain anymore, and could play with her other dog friends wherever she was.
My mom is planning on getting another german shepherd again as soon as she has a backyard, and I’ll be doing the same too. But seeing one that looks like Sassy tugs on the heartstrings a little. I’d say give it some time – a year or so if you feel you need it – and get another lovable friend. Rescuing more racing dogs is probably the best tribute you can do to Andy.
*Infinite hugs as needed*
Post # 9
Thanks all for your kind words. We received a sympathy card from our vet’s office, FULL of hand written notes. It was so sweet and unexpected. We’re picking up his remains from their office tomorrow, and I’m thinking of having a little “ceremony” to bury/spread his ashes in our backyard – probably just me and DH but I think it will help.
Post # 10
My dog passed away over five years ago and I still miss her all the time. I’m glad you have your baby and DH to help you. *hugs*
Post # 11
@Miss Grey: I’m sorry for your loss. We just put my doggy of 16 1/2 years down on Tuesday and it was awful. I still am kind of in shock and haven’t been able to really cry yet. I am just kind of floating along, empty. Hopefully you can find comfort in knowing your doggy is playing and eating all the snacks he wants in doggy heaven right alongside by pup!