Post # 1
Hi all! My SO and I have been together for 9 months (we’re both in our 30’s). There have been more bad days than good days which is why I need a big push to break up with him. I know it’s the right thing to do. Our relationship has not progressed at all. There have been no I love you’s and everything we do is what he wants. I feel as if I don’t have a voice in this relationship. I have told him my needs and he does nothing to meet those. Now, we’ve had some good times too, it’s just the bad outweighs the good.
To make this short(er), I’ll just some up this past week. Last Tuesday I told him I was renting a movie and he was more than welcome to join me and it was my turn to pick the movie. I paid for the movie and within ten minutes he told me to pick something else and he pouted until he got his way. I should’ve told him to go home. Thursday, he told me he would stop by and after his workout but he forgot (he always “forgets” things he’s supposed to do). Saturday he was invited to a football party for guys only. He made a point to tell me it was just the guys and kids but no girlfriends. The next day his daughters told me all of the moms were there watching the game. When I asked him why he lied, he got mad. Yesterday…the bad day…we had plans to go to the beach. He called me in the morning and said one of his friends wanted to go to the pool and grill and that he was doing that instead (we had planned the beach trip for a week). Usually, I would say ok but I stuck up for myself this time and we got in a huge fight. He talked to me like I was a child and even cussed at me. Instead of giving him space, I did push him to talk to me which only made him angrier. I ended up apologizing for pushing him to talk and he apologized too but I haven’t heard a word from him since yesterday afternoon so I text him tonight to see if he wanted to talk and he said no, he wasn’t ready yet. That’s just a taste of what the past several months have been like for me.
I know this relationship is unhealthy. It’s very one-sided and I’ve tried communicating with him. He just gets defensive or he agrees but never follows through. I thought I had myself ready to end things today, but I keep getting scared. Maybe I’m scared of his reaction or maybe I don’t want to be alone on my birthday in a week (I know…bad reason!).
This topic was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by jamgirl77.
Post # 2
I think we’d all agree this relationship is no good for you. He just doesn’t sound ready for a relationship and lies and/or whines to be away from you.
If you live with him, is your problem you’re not sure where to go? Speak to a friend and make arrangements to move, then it’s harder to back out of doing it.
If you don’t live with him, just stop seeing him and make other plans each day or night.
Post # 3
You will be better off without him. It’s better to be single than be in an unhealthy relationship that brings you down. You deserve better. You can do it!
Post # 4
You don’t deserve to be treated this way. But I know you know that. Plus, with this jerk it sounds like ending up away from him on your birthday will happen anyway.
Just call him. If he’s not ready to talk, its too damn bad. Everything else is on his time. End it on your time. Dont waste another second on him.
Post # 5
Poor you!! *hugs* This guy sounds like a complete bastard!!! What do you think it is that’s preventing you from leaving him?
You deserve to be treated far, far better that this.
Post # 7
What push do you need? You admitt this is an unhealthy relationship. End it and go do the things that you’ve been denying yourself for the past nine months.
Post # 8
What the hell is he teaching his daughters?!?
The fact that you wrote that here, asking for help is all the strength you’ll need girl!! Coming from a prior abusive relationship (mentally and physically) I can sympathize with you on how hard it can be to muster up the strength to just leave.
But you can do it – just remind yourself you deserve better, you can love yourself better, you can have a better life. Show yourself how much you love yourself and LEAVE. My heart aches for you – sending big hugs and postive thoughts!! Please keep us updated!! You can do this!!
Post # 9
This guy sounds like a selfish jerk! You don’t need this shit, you deserve better! DUMP HIM!!
Post # 10
jamgirl77: You deserve so much better. He sounds like a child. Pouting until he gets his way? What is he? five? That’s the stuff my daughter would pull, not a grown man. Leave him and find someone better. I know it’s hard, but you can do this.
Post # 11
Seems like you know what you need to do. Hopefully seeing it in writing is all the push you need. Break up with him, and soon.
Post # 12
I went out with someone once who was all “take, take, take”. Not in the same way as your guy but it is very draining when you are doing all the giving and bending. At the moment you don’t have any real ties with the man so just get out of there, give him the reason then maybe he can think about his ways for the future.
Post # 13
Sounds like BS to me.Dump him and move on.
Post # 14
Life is too short to be unhappy. i know I would rather be alone, then unhappy with someone who doesn’t appreciate me. I always tell people who come to me for advice, what would you tell your best friend if they came to you with the same problem? If this guy wouldn’t be good enough for your best friend, then why is he good enough for you? you’re wasting time with a loser, when you could be searching for your Prince Charming! Nip it now!!!
Post # 15
He sounds terrible. The best birthday gift you could give to yourself would be to remove this toxic sludge from your life.