I find the US rules on etiquette extremely rigid.
I do think etiquette is important; however, I think it is best to come up with your own etiquette rules based on the area you live in, your social circle, etc, and NOT on what some rule-book is telling you, or the advice of strangers on-line.
According to many posters on here, we are awful human beings because we’re not providing a fully-open bar all day. However, in England, and among the people we know, a fully open bar for the duration is a massive rarity, and what we are providing would be considered extremely generous. Likewise when it comes to plus 1s: over here, it is totally acceptable to invite, say, work colleagues or single friends as a group, and not extend plus 1s to all of them; in fact, most people would only give a plus 1 if someone won’t know anyone else there/will only know 2 other people who are a couple/etc.
Conversely, I see that on here it’s pretty common for men to wear tuxes during the day; this absolutely would not be done among our social group, tuxes are strictly for evening only, and anyone doing this would get side-eyed.
And I should say that our social circle would be considered middle-class; we have a decent amoutn of money in our group, and are also sticklers for manners and etiquette.
The point I’m making is that you need to base your decisions and etiquette rules on your social group; it’s pointless to do otherwise. If I’d listen to ‘advice’ on here, not only would we be facing something like a $12-15k alcohol bill, but some of our guests may see us having a fully open bar has a huge, unnecessary extravagence, and comment on it; and not in a good way. Etc.
Obviously it’s a bit late now in your case; but it sounds like you’ve thought a lot about your guests throughout planning so I think you now need to let go, relax, and enjoy the day. You will never please anyone; but the point of a wedding is for people to come and celebrate your marriage with you. If they’re going to bitch and whinge about your food choices, the activities you’ve set up, etc, then really, are they people you even care about?..