- 2 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
So I have been ironing out the final plans….and have been getting really upset and frustrated….over something that by all means shouldnt be a big deal….but to me it hurts….and maybe its because I am super stressed over money, logistics, and being 6 weeks until our wedding…but can no one seriously put aside what they want for our WEDDING DAY….I mean really the fact that I am borderline in tears over some of this crap is rediculous….and probably me just being stressed but damn….
First thing that has me upset is my dad….he is out and out refusing to wear a suit/tux/or even just dress pants to the wedding….with a plain button up and he might wear a sports jacket to our semi-formal wedding….not a big deal right…well what has me hurt…is he went all out for BOTH my sisters first and second wedding including a tie….he still owns the suit….wont wear it for OUR wedding….its been a year of stress and tears arguing about it….and he just wont budge….he normally dosent wear suits….but I mean common if you can do it for a casual wedding then you can do it for mine for one damn day not even the whole day like 7 hours…as they have already said they are leaving the reception as soon as we cut the cake and have our first dance….and then they are leaving and going back home early the next morning….so we probably wont even see them….I guess it just hurts he would do it for my sister and refuse to do it for me….
My dad is still hem-hawing on wether he will walk me down the aisle…..and that hurts more then anything….we have always had a decent relationship….and he has always adored my FI….he jumped at the chance to walk my sister down the aisle to her first husband whom my dad openly hated….but is “deciding” on doing it for me….
Dont even get me started on the father-daughter dance….I have begged and pleaded and cried….and nope he wont budge….
He may even miss the rehersal because he dosent want to take the whole day off of work the day before….(my parents are by no means hurting for money…in any way shape or form…)
Then my FFIL is making it difficult by not deciding on if he will wear a tux because my dad wont even wear a suit and he thinks it would look ackward…..but despite our differences in the past….over the engagement him and I have actually become rather close….and he has been a HUGE help in planning the wedding….
My mom didnt come dress shopping with me once…she would promise and swear she would…but when it came down to it…she wouldnt actually show up….she was supposed to and never did…called 3 hours before the appointment making up some excuse that she had to stay home with my sick sister who was posting photos of their shopping adventure in a town an hour from their home doing clothes shopping….leaving me befret and only with FMIL for support and supportive text messages from my MOH….I was excitedly telling her last week that I was mailing invitations and to make sure she checked the mail for them….and i got told that was nice and then she changed the subject to how they are tearing a tree out of their back yard this weekend and then she stopped texting me back….and its not like i talk all the time about the wedding…because when I do the subject gets abruptly changed and never re-visited….they arent paying for anything….like zilch….never even offered to…..so i guess they dont care….which ok whatever but they made such a huge fuss over both of my sisters weddings that its like uhh…ok what did I ever do to you….
I think what hurts the most….isthe fact that itslike my own PARENTS dont care that I am getting married….all they say is “ohh in 5 years youll wake up and regret the money you spent and wish you had eloped to vegas”….and “you should just go to vegas big weddings are a sham”….when that is not how they acted when it was my older sister during either of her weddings….they thought it was the greatest thing ever….
I feel like alot of this is just being selfish…but I mean common….this is our Marriage….and some of this shouldnt be such a struggle…..When they came up for my bridal shower….as soon as they walked in the door dropped their stuff off…they left and went shopping for 5 hours….came back went to the shower….ate dinner with us that night…and then left at 8am the next day right after we got out of bed….and then went to the lake and played for a few hours….
I realize no one cares about the wedding as much as we do…but damn it…you could pretend to care a little…I am your kid after all….its just ackward….my FI’s aunts and uncles have thrown themselves into the wedding….volunteering for things and being generally helpful….and my family is just acting like its not even going on….trying to communicate with them what they need to know is like pulling teeth…
I think part of it is they are still upset that I moved out of the crap hole town and job I was in and took the best career oppertunity I have ever had….but then again the like 6 months we were engaged before that they didnt want to talk about the wedding either….
Idk what I am hoping to get out of this post….writing it has been cathartic…Its not like im blowing up phones seeking money or anything…we have paid for every penny with out asking for so much as a dollar for it….and still its like we are the bad guys….idk…
I think the thing with what he is wearing is more that my dad wont even consider it….I was upset talking to FFIL about it tonight and he kinda made it hit home….by basically saying it shouldnt be a big deal that i asked him to wear dress clothes and walk me down the aisle…as he has already proven he can do it at two other weddings….FFIL and FI and FIs aunts are the only reason I am not neck deep in a bottle of wine right now….
please tell me im not the only one…or that I am crazy or whatever….but I just feel hurt that this is that big of an issue….
vent over if anyone else has any vents/emotional rants to share feel free to share…