(Closed) I need a little bit of legal advice- what can I do if I feel threatened…?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t know about legally. But I’d punch her.

Post # 4
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@ForeverBirds:  Only thing you can do is call the police and file a DV report. They probably won’t do much for threats but it could possibly be used to get a restraining order in the future.

Post # 5
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@ForeverBirds:  Do you all still live together?

Post # 6
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Luayne:  I agree with this. Maybe just report it so its on record that she has some issues controlling her anger. That could even help her kids in the future.

Post # 7
Member
1257 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I do not know what the laws are in your particular state but in MD you can go file a protective order/restraining order against her if she does that again. I am a domestic violence advocate in my county and there may be one in your county/state/area. I would inquire at the courthouse. In MD the protective order potentially lasts up to 12 months.

Post # 9
Member
1257 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@ForeverBirds:  In MD one time is enough. The event has to have occured within 30 days and place you in imminent fear of bodily harm. She would not get arrested because protective orders are a civil matter not criminal. If you charged her criminally for something than she would risk the chance of being arrested based on what you filed.

Post # 10
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Call the police and file a report. They’ll likely come over and chat with you and follow up with her but thats generally it for a first time issue(first time being first time reported). It might be enough to scare some sense into her and if not it’ll show her you’re serious and this wont be tolerated.

Threats are def investigated and followed up on.

I’m a 911 dispatcher and we get calls like this all the time. My best advice is to document/report everything. It’ll help should you ever need to do something later on.

Good Luck

Post # 12
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Sounds like my crazy sister but I love her lol She’s very loud and in your face if you piss her off but i guess in a different way then yours. If you want her to know you are not okaying any games with her then i think filing a report will definitely do the job.

Post # 13
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

Are you legitimately afraid she’ll hurt you, or are you trying to get back to her for the agravation over collecting the money and the whole “knock you out” confrontation.

There are consequences that come from filing RO/PO against people, and if she violates the order, she could be charged, and that might follow her for a long time.

I would do some serious introspection before I did anything. If I legitimately was concerned for my safety, then I would notify police. Otherwise, I wouldn’t lend her money and just stay out of her way. 

 

 

 

Post # 15
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

@ForeverBirds:  How about you just stop lending her money and avoid her (the same as you would anyone else you didn’t like or who behaved this way)?

what she did is wrong, and to be honest, she sounds like an idiot, but it doesn’t sound like you are particularly concerned for your safety, and that you are looking more to get back at her. Someday, she might grow up and carry on like an adult. Do you really want this to follow her around? To me, it sounds like you are calling in the po-po to deal with something that could be dealt with internally. 

(But you know the situation better than any strangers on the internet, who encourage you to act one way or another. I only encourage you to think about whether police involvement is genuinely required, and whether somewhere down the road, you might regret it. i only say that because it’s clear you are not in any imminent danger.)

Post # 16
Member
8314 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@SeaSalt:  This exactly.

Obviously none of us witnessed the incident but OP filing a restraining order because a sibling yelled at you and got in your face especially when you admit on a public forum it is more about how she spoke to you is probably a bit of a over reaction. The police would probably tag you as a nusiance which wont do you any favours if you ever need to file a serious complaint.

Also think of the damage that it could do to your family. Your parents may feel forced to take sides and in the interest of a relationship with the grandkids choose your sister. Are you ready for that?

It could also affect a custody hearing if she ever does divorce. You don’t mention her husband but think long and hard if you would want him with sole custody in a divorce? Because filing charges could give him the evidence he needs.

Also someone can only take advantage of you if you let them. In situations like repeatedly lending money to someone who never pays it back I don’t blame the person who is borrowing, I blame the person that keeps lending them the money.

Is this the first time she has been so volatile in a fight? If yes then do you really think filing charges is a good idea? If no have you thought about your and others actions that lead to this event? Did you provoke her? Not condoning her actions because that isn’t right but sometimes we aren’t as innocent in a situation as we think we are.

If this is a common occurance then yeah maybe a restraining order might be in order but I personally wouldn’t do that to a family member I didn’t live with unless they physically assualted me. I would instead remove myself from having contact with them. It is easy enough to do- plan to be out when she is over, leave the room, discuss with family (so as not to be excluded from events).

Good luck but please think about the others this might effect before taking legal action but of course if you feel your life is in danger (but I don’t get that feeling from your post) don’t wait.

 

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