Post # 1
Ok I have never posted anything on one of these blogs but girls I need advice. I have been dating my fiancée a total of 7 ½ years. We have been engaged since 10/2008. He is a great guy we get along great and never fight. He talks all the time about how much he loves me and wants to be with me forever…..but, he will not plan our wedding. Every time I bring anything up about the wedding I get put off. Yeah, yeah we have plenty of time to do that. We had originally planed to get married last June and then it got put off until June 2011. Even now with the wedding being 10 months away we do not have a date or a venue picked out. I try not to be a pain and bring it up very often but I will research places that I like randomly show them to him. Something is always wrong, it is too expensive, to country, and he doesn’t like the color, just something every time. I finally got him to set down two weeks ago and look at venues. We decided on two, in Las Vegas, I email both places asking them for more information and now can’t seem to get him to look at the emails. Every time I bring it up I get put off, oh yeah we will do that this week I promise. This has been going on for quite some time. I guess my question is have any of you had problems like this with your fiancée? Is this normal guy behavior or is he putting it off because he doesn’t want to get married? I know that it is hard to give advice to people that you have never met but I was just wondering if this was something any of you have dealt with.
Post # 3
my guy and I have been together for over 12 years and 2 kids,, I feel like he is doing the wedding to make me happy he realy could care less about the paper. He truley enjoys how happy I am about the wedding and says im such a dork. Maybe hes the same way, as long as its a happy time and not a I have to do this realy? I think your good. Maybe ask him do you want me to do the planning? and keep the things and choices for him to just a few.. Good luck and congratts
Post # 4
Some men just aren’t INTO wedding planning. I’d ask him straight up “Hey Fiance is this something you want me to do myself or are you interested in helping me. Please understand I won’t be hurt by whatever you say, but we need to get the ball rolling on this stuff”.
Post # 5
from an outsiders quick view it does look like he’s just not into getting married. If he wanted to it’d be done by now (obiviously since you’re more than willing to plan everything). Let him know that planning and going through with the wedding is what you want. Ask him what is stopping him from committing? is it money? stress? family life? experience? There has to be something other than his laziness!
Post # 6
There is a possibility that yes, he does not want to get married. But I think a lot of men go through that in the begininng because the looming planning is nothing a guy likes to do. And months upon months of it … they probably rather eat glass.
My Fiance and myself have been together over 4 years and have a child together. He has made it very clear that he is ready to get married. But I was doubtful at first when I began the planning. It was a huff and puff and complete disinterest. I was really confused and kind of hurt by this. He seemed to notice and finaly told me flat out something along the lines of, “I would love nothing more than to marry you and leave YOU to planning the wedding. Its just not my thing” Haha. To him, he compares it to fashion. He is like, “What the hell do I know about any of this?! I can help with opinions on the basics. Color, theme, place, food, ect. But anything else I just dont get it. I have no idea what you are talking about half of the time. But I trust that you do so go for it!”
Post # 7
Ya, from an outsider, it kind of seems like hes just not into it. But is it the MARRIAGE or the WEDDDING that he’s not into? Talk to him. Be prepared for an answer you’re not going to like and if it does turn out badly, well at least you dont have to worry about this situation anymore. Honestly, I understand guys not wanting to deal with every detail, but I think they should be a part of the planning process because this is the step into your future that represents full commitment. If my fiance didnt want anything to do with it, I would be upset too. You should ask him straight up how he feels. I know thats easier said than done…but isnt it easier than trying to plan a wedding and getting shut down all the time? Good luck !