Post # 1
I need help massively, my wedding planning is underway, I have decide to keep the three adult bridesmaids in the family my sister, future sister in law and my brother’s girlfriend, then the three younger bridesmaids are a friend’s daughter and my two goddaughters.
The problem I have is that my goddaughter’s mum is my best friend, we have drifted apart slightly but when we get together it’s like we haven’t been apart. As background she is married and when she got married I wasn’t a bridesmaid as she said that she had to have her sister etc. she also asked a mutual friend to be her bridesmaid but then said to her, after she had asked, that she couldn’t be one anymore because she had to have someone else.
As soon as I told her I was engaged she told her daughters that they would be my bridesmaids and would be wearing princess dresses before I even asked them. She has also now asked via email me if she is still maid of honour and her daughters bridesmaids. I have never mentioned maid of honour and want to keep the bridesmaids as family, the other side to the story is my fiancee does not want her to be apart of the wedding party. There have been some incidents in the past where she is dominating and tries to take over things which irritates a lot of people. How do I tell her that the adult bridesmaids will be just family and that she is not maid of honour (my goddaughters, despite my fiancee’s anger towards my friend telling them for me will still be bridesmaids).
I don’t like to upset people, but she took over my 30th and don’t want her to take over my wedding. Any advice and help would be greatly appreciated. thanks girls.
Post # 3
@Sunnyone: I don’t see where she would need to be a bridesmaid/MOH. Explain to her you have to keep the bridesmaids, including the MOH, in the family and you’re sure she understands. Reference HER wedding if you have to 😉
I’m having my two nephews in our wedding, but NOT my SIL. (her part is currently painting the cardbox my brother made, so HAH!)
Maybe you could do something similiar and giver her another task. IF you want. Like make certain x or y or z is done the day of. (Personally, it sounds like she’s jealous of what her daughters are gonna be wearing and wants in on it…)
You could also say the girls are going to be flower girls and not actual bridesmaids (just to be a PITA). 😉
Post # 4
eta: also, tell her what your FI said. IF he agrees to taking the *ahem* “blame”. 😉 Somehow, I doubt he’ll complain. 😉
Say something along the lines of “we both had to agree on who would do what and he objected to you being in the wedding, but wants your girls to be flower girls because they are the perfect age. I’m sure you understand us having to keep the bridesmaids and MOH in the family.”
The biggest problem I can see, is her saying if SHE isn’t in it, then the girls’ cant be in it. It would suck, but I certainly wouldn’t bend on NOT having her be a part.
Post # 5
@Zinzerena: thanks Ryna that is really helpful, I will take some points out from what you said and put it in my reply to her. I know weddings are meant to be stressful but she is really adding to my stress right now 🙁 I just want to enjoy the planning.
Post # 6
@Sunnyone: 🙂 Glad I could help! I’m kinda surprised no other bees have commented, though.
I hope you can get this worked out and not have to worry about her trying to use the girls as leverage. 🙂