Post # 1
Hi, I am new here (though I have been lurking for months ^_^), so Hello first and foremost.
Ok my issue is one of my bridesmaids. I initially did not ask her because of $$. I knew it would be difficult for her. She married this guy who was unemployed for 2 + years because he was “holding out for a perfect job.” Don’t get me started on him!
Anyway he finally got a job and a little time passed and I asked her to be a bridemaid. I explained that I did not initally ask her because I didnt want to add to any financial stress. I also said that if it was still to soon I would understand if she could not be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. She cried and said Yes. I had all my girls get dresses and at this point (many months later) she said she was going to have to wait to purchase the dress until the end of the month (January), no problem. So from there I have not heard from her at all. I have left phone messages, email, and even went and left her a FB msg to which she has not replied to any. Although she is on FB and posting on her daughter’s wall so I know she is alive.
I would not expect this behavior from someone 40+ years old so I am at a loss. Is it safe to assume that she is not going to be a bridesmaid and to ask another friend and take her off our wedding website? I think its pretty lousy that she can’t have the decency to email and tell me but I don’t want to stalk her or harass her.
I just don’t know what to do.
Post # 3
I’d give it another week or so. Perhaps leave a message along the lines of miss, you, need to hear from you by____ to finalize some wedding details otherwise I’ll assume you’re going to be coming as a guest, I understand if you can’ commit to being a Bridesmaid or Best Man, etc.
Post # 4
I never understand why people do this, but it seems quite common. Since she seems to be posting on Facebook, I’d write a message on her wall just saying “Hey X, it’s been awhile since I’ve heard from you. I have some wedding business I’d love to talk to you about, but I’ve been having a hard time getting ahold of you. What’s the best way?”
If she doesn’t respond to that after all the other ways you’ve tried to contact her, I think you just need to assume that she’s backing out without telling you to your face, which would be too bad since you were so considerate.
Welcome to the ‘bee! I hope to see happier posts from you in the future. 😛
Post # 5
I wouldn’t automatically assume she’s out and take her off of your website. It is rude of her to not reply to your messages, but maybe they’re going through some financial troubles and she’s embarrassed to tell you that she doesn’t have the money for the dress yet. I would call her or email her one more time and ask her if she still wants/is able to be in the wedding (in the nicest way possible) Is there any way you can offer to help her out financially?
Post # 6
Wow that is really tough. I wouldn’t assume either but MAN she needs to at least talk to you. How long since the no call response? I would say call her again a few times and just say you really need to talk. FB is not a mode of primary communication especially for older people so make it personal. I would check in with her and then politely tell her that shes not a good fit for this day and that you need people who will be a little more attentive to your needs…it would probably be better for your friendship this way!!
Post # 8
She finally called me and she has backed out due to financial strains. I let her know it was no big deal but that she should have called me back. She apologized about being a chicken to call me. She still wants to be a part of the wedding so I asked her to do a reading.
Thanks to all the bee’s for the advice.