Post # 1
Soo My FI and I just returned from our first meeting with the woman who will be our day of coordinator. While talking to my family and his afterwords, we mentioned that we whie not specifically requesting an unplugged ceremony, were going to request as is what our pastor, us and our day of coordinator prefer, for anyone who ABSOLUETELY INSISTS on taking pictures during the ceremony WHO IS NOT our PHOTOGRAPHER, to step to the back of the church, and remain there while they take pictures, also no additional flash cameras during processional and recessional, and they must stay behind the photographer….our photog and I have already discussed that he has the equipment to get what we want from the ceremony and that way he can snap pictures during from the back of the church or atleast middle and back…that way there isnt the ackward people getting in the way of the photographers other peoples flashes getting in the way, and ruining pictures…..
I am compromising from what i originally wanted which was an uplugged ceremony, I dont want snap shots from the back of the church with 10 different iphones in the shot of people trying to get pictures, there is plenty of time for that at cocktail hour and the reception. So I compromised and said fine there can be pictures taken but they must go to a designated area in the back of the church…
But apparently according to a few members on each side of our families (spent a bunch of money on cameras and now insist they are photographers, and last wedding the one on his side inquestion was supposed to be a videographer and during part of their wedding video all you see is her shoulder infront of the camera trying to take pictures…soo no! ps the pics she took were horrid and blury)…..but according to them we are being INCREDIBLY RUDE, SELFISH, AND BREAKING NUMEROUS ETIQUETTE RULES!
So what do you ladies think….I am the one dropping 2k on wedding photography is it rude to ask that if they insist they take pictures that they go to the back of the church and stay out of the center isle and photographers way, or just not take them, and find us afterwards for a few snaps….
I have seen several really wonderful pictures including here on the BEE that bees have posted on bad picture threads and the main thing wrong is the flashes from other cameras, and people in the shot of the photographer who have no buisness being there….just because they want to take pictures so you get ackward pictures of people in the middle isle, or too close to the front…and in they way of the photographer that people pay just to get snaps that will probably go on facebook and forgotten….
Am I rude or breaking etiquette for feeling this way? well more so for requesting this???
Post # 3
@kansas_nurse: i think it is perfectly acceptable to tell people to not take photos during the ceremony. You are correct, you did spend the money and it’s your day so you can decide what to do. However, I think telling people to go stand at the back of the church is completely rude. Just tell them there’s no photography, because even if they are off to the side, their flash can still affect the flash of your photographer and ruin shots. Your family should respect your wishes!
ETA: Like you said, there will be plenty of time at cocktail hour and the reception to take photographs. Promise your guests you will provide them with copies of the photographers work, if they request it. They should know the photographer’s work will be beautiful… That way they can still use their cameras for the reception and get beautiful pictures of the ceremony too!
Post # 4
@kendra389: true….That is what I originally wanted to do, was absolutely no other photos….but i kind of got talked into a compromise in allowing people to go to the back and take pictures….im thinking about just saying i talked to FI and decided against anyother photography phones or otherwise during the ceremony, and having a picture spot during cocktail hour to where anyone who wants pictures can snap them!
people make me nuts when it comes to weddings…ugh….somedays eloping seems pretty good.
Post # 5
@kansas_nurse: Have you made it clear that they can take photos after the ceremony?
When I first heard of unplugged weddings, I thought – from a guest’s point of view – that it was the photographer acting out of self-interest. Because if I can’t take my own photo, someone needs to fork out $10-20 per print to the photographer to get me a photo. But that’s not the case if they can take photos at other times, so they may not object (or not object so much). (For my own personal photo, I always prefer the posed photo outside to the distant snap of the kissing couple anyway).
From an etiquette point of view, you can certainly ask that your ceremony not be disrupted. For that, I think “no photography” is less disruptive than “please move to the back to take photos”. (You could say “no flash photography”, but the problem is many people (including me) don’t always know how to disable the flash).
Post # 6
@kendra389: also i should add that it is the policy of our church after having a photographers camera break while trying to step forward taking a few snaps and tripping over an amatuer photog in the crowd who just happened to be kneeling down in the middle of the isle almost laying down to take the picture, and the photog tripped and hurt himself, the guest and busted his camera lens, (apparently no major injuries….but did cause a rukus)….so the church did come up with the policy that either we elect to be unplugged or we have those who wish stay in a specific area in the back, to avoid problems….enforced by day of coordinator during ceremony….i guesse theyve had alot of problems and complaints from brides and photographers about getting it under control
eta: Yes i did tell them we could do pictures after and before if they wanted but they want personal pics of during for private use to bump their photog abilities.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta
@kansas_nurse: We are doing an unplugged ceremony. We have put a note on our webiste saying please keep electronics away during the ceremony and we are putting a note in the wedding programs as well. The officiant can make an announcement as well if it looks like it will still be a problem. I think restircting the guests in that way is more rude (still not actually rude though…) than having an unplugged ceremony, because then they might not be able to hear the ceremony. Do guests actually think their photos will be better? Reassure everyone they will see the professional photos when you get them.
Post # 8
I think it’s fine to have an unplugged event!
Post # 9
@kansas_nurse: Our pastor did something a little unique as a substitute for an unplugged ceremony. After he gave the invocation, he announced that at that time anyone could take any photo they wanted. He actually paused the ceremony, people stood up and took pictures, and then they put them all away once the ceremony began again. I only know of two people that took pictures from the balcony after that time. It worked really well for us.
Post # 10
Honestly, I think these rules are too complicated. Just go for an unplugged ceremony. Make it sound like it’s the pastor’s idea. He can announce it before the processional starts.
This happened at my sister’s wedding and it was a suprrise – not only to all the guests but to her as well! Catholic priests, what are you gonna do with em?
Post # 11
@kansas_nurse: Yes, it’s rude to tell people how to act and/or assume they don’t know how.
I just had this happen at a wedding I attended – the photographer and the couple posted things on-line telling people not to get in the way of the photographers, turn their cell phones off, etc.
It’s off-putting and rather insulting. I’m a civilized adult – I know how to act.
Post # 12
Just blame it on the church’s rules. No one can argue with that one.
Post # 13
@kansas_nurse: I’d suggest going unplugged. Somehow I can’t imagine guests with cameras rearranging themselves during the ceremony based on their camera equipment. They can take photos later. 🙂
Post # 14
@kansas_nurse: I don’t think it’s rude at all! We did a similar thing… we posted a handmade sign at the entrance saying:
We invite you to be truly present
at this special time.
Please, turn off your cell phones and cameras,
and share this time with us!
Our photographer will capture how this moment looks
so that you can capture how this moment feels in your hearts,
and without the distraction of technology.
Absolutely no one was offended, and we even had guests thank us for that gentle reminder to actually live in the moment! So few people live in the moment anymore; everyone’s too caught up in their technology!
We had a few people who took pictures anyway, but they were discrete about it and did not get in the photographer’s way – they later sent us their pictures, and one told us, “Sorry, I couldn’t resist… but after reading your sign I made sure I was extra careful not to get in the photographer’s shots at all!!” so even for the people who DID take pictures, our sign was helpful in keeping them in check. 🙂
Best of luck to you!! And I think it will go over well! There’s no pleasing everyone ever, so do what you feel is right – it’s your day!
Post # 15
Our congregation has a no photos allowed during services policy so it’s never been an issue for the brides that get married there. I agree with the PP who said you are making this too complicated. I would not ask people with cameras who want to take photos to sit in back like some second class guests. Just have the officiant request kindly, that no photos be taken during the ceremony at all, exactly the way you wanted in the first place. That’s reasonable, and not rude at all.
Post # 16
I would just either allow it or not allow it completely rather than trying to control it slightly. Not having it be a strict yes or no will give room for people to bend or break the rules you’ve put in place. If you do a completely unplugged ceremony then at least most people won’t want to be “that guy” at the ceremony taking pictures when it has been mentioned multiple times that photography isn’t allowed.