Post # 1
So long story short, my wedding was planned for July 17th, 2010. On April 30th my father was diagnosed with very advanced cancer and only given a very short time left. We made the choice to move up the wedding to May 8th. The wedding was nothing like what I had planned for July. No wedding dress, no formal flowers, no band or music of any kind, we couldn’t get a cater so it was mostly just a hasty cake from the supermarket, and we had to beg a friend to take a few photos, and almost none of our friends could make the wedding at such short notice.
My fathers condition had stablized so we decided that we were going to try and hold the original reception on July 17th. We sent out all new invitaitons and re-activated our plans. My father passed away on the 15th of July. And I just couldn’t pull myself together to try and go forward with the reception.
Now that some time has passed I feel like I will always regret not being able to atleast dance at my own wedding. But I’m so torn. I feel almost stupid sending out more invitations for ANOTHER reception. Should I just swallow and get past it?
Post # 3
How about you throw yourself a big one year anniversary party?
Post # 4
Awe that’s so sad.
I am sorry about your loss.
I think you should have a reception and I think you should do it your way. Your true friends will understand and will be there to celebrate with you!
Post # 5
I’m so sorry to hear about your father. I’m not sure what to say. You are probably going through a sea of emotions, which only make it harder to make a decision. What do you really want to do? If you want to have a reception, but now isn’t the best time, maybe have a first anniversary party/vow renewal/reception. That way you can still wear your dress and dance and everything.
Post # 6
Firstly, I’m so sorry for your loss.
What about having a renewal ceremony in a year? That way a suitable time has passed and you can just put your plans forward to having your reception in a year. Or what about having just a reception in 6 months time? I’m sure, considering your circumstances, that your guests will understand 🙂
Post # 7
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I’m glad that he got to see you get married… but I’m sure that even he would want to you to dance.
Your family and friends will understand the situation and should be happy and honored to celebrate with you. If anyone thinks it’s strange to receive another invite, then they aren’t truly a friend.
Post # 8
I am sorry for your loss and the difficult time that you have been through in the past months.
Surely the people who would have been your guests know all about what happened and would not have a problem with getting yet another invite, should you decide to go for it.
What I would do if I was in your shoes? Because to me, personally, I don’t like being the center of attention and didn’t have a first dance because we didn’t want to be looked at, I would dance with my husband in our living room with candles and all and consider that our wedding first dance.
BUT I am not the typical person either. Given how important the wedding was to you, I would take time to grieve and time for your family to grieve as well; then plan a very good anniversary reception and renew your vows then in front of everyone and have your first dance then.
Post # 9
I’m with Miss Moo, a year anniversary and vow renewal will allow you time to grieve your loss and still have a little piece of your dream. I’m so sorry for your loss, and it’s not silly at all to grieve a little bit for the loss of your original vision, too. We’re human, and as women, our wedding day dream is huge.
I think your dad would want this for you… and we (at the hive) all want this for you. I’m so sorry for your pain and will keep you in my thoughts. And we’ll all help you find a way to plan your own special big day. Your friends and family will completely understand your situation and should support you by RSVPing to as many invitations as it takes to get this done. Maybe it won’t be the original dream, but part of the specialness of life is finding new dreams!
Be well and good luck.
Post # 10
So sorry to hear of your loss. What a rough time this must be!
I agree that your friends and family will completely understand, and will be more than happy to attend your reception for whenever you plan it! I also, however, agree that it would be awesome to have a renewal in a year, or an anniversary party!
I think you are ok to do whatever you want with this situation. People will understand!
Post # 11
We can’t do a one year anniversary party. I have accepted a job overseas and it is a two year commitment in Austraila, we leave in Oct. And beyond that the idea seems wrong, and too much time will have passed for it to feel like the wedding reception I want rather than a over planned party a year later. I have never known anyone to throw a 1 year party, and if they did, it should be much much more casual then a wedding reception.
Post # 12
First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. This must have been unbelievably difficult.I hope you are doing well and finding some peace.
I have a friend who was married and her husband’s family was from Ireland and couldn’t afford to come to the States. She in turn told her family that it would only be the two of them getting married, no guests, no family at all. A year later, she had a reception. Families saved money and made the trek from Ireland. They shared photos and a video. had cake, danced – the whole sha-bang. It was just like a reception and it was completely appropriate. If you want this, you should do it. You can only control a few things in life and this situation was not something you could control. I think people would completely understand if they received another invitation…Maybe a wedding reception/send off party!?! Hang in there.
Post # 13
It’s not like you were changing it because of cold feet – I think those that love you will understand and you should do what feels right to you. It sounds like you want to have a celebration of your marriage and I think that’s what you should do.
My condolences to you on the recent loss of your father.
Post # 14
Why don’t you have a big “going-away/ wedding” bash? That will give you some time to grieve and put some distance between events.