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I would advertise it as a cocktail birthday party. That way ladies would get the idea to wear cocktail dresses and guys will show up in (at least) slacks and a button down shirt. If you held it in a swanky restaurant people would be more likely to follow the dress code.
Theme your wedding black tie Hollywood Glamour and tell people they need to dress up for the party!
(FWIW - I can relate -- engaged 10 yrs. w/3 kids before we said I do at a last minute JoP wedding!)
I agree to advertise as a cocktail party for your b'days -- perhaps a theme like the Roaring 20s, The Great Gatsby, 1940s Hollywood/red carpet premiere. The invite could reflect the theme -- think a flapper for the 1920s, a premiere style invite, etc. YOu can also spread by word of mouth that you want people to come dressed for the theme. It sounds like a blast!
Read this! They did the same thing, under the guise of an engagement party!
All great ideas thanx, now for problem number 2, My Fiancee's brother is getting Married a couple of months before our "Birthday Party", I dislike his bride to be and don't want our day to be compared to hers. I can't run anything past any one because of the surprise factor and it seems every idea I have is taken away by her plans, for example the original theme was Masqured ball, that way i could wear my gown without ruining the surprise. I recieved my invitation for her hen's night and she has decide to have a maquerade cocktail party. the worst thing is I atold her that my plan was and was told there was no way she was changing her plans because she had been planning it for 6 mths, well i've been planning mine for 11 years.
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My Fiancee and I met at 16 and have been together for 13 years, engaged for 11 and have finally decided to do the wedding thing. As our relationship hasn't really taken the conventional road (we already have 2 children and have been living together for 12 years) we have decided not to have a conventional wedding. We turn 30 within 8 weeks of each other and have decided to get married under the guise of a joint birthday party. Now here is my problem or problem's, we haven't a clue on how to get everyone we want there without ruining the surprise, we want everyone dressed appropriatley and were thinking a theme may be order, but again we can't think of one, does anyone have any ideas on how we can pull this off.