- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
I have made a random account at 4 am because Im desperate for support and advice. I’m on my iPhone so please excuse any weird typos.
I am engaged to the love of my life. He takes care of me, provides for me, and loves me like mad. Our wedding is in less than one year. I’d say that our biggest relationship issue is his family. A lot has went down with them, which is enough for a whole ‘nother post so I will skip all of that. He works non stop and I know he is stressed alot and very tired. I try to be as easy going as possible. I am very quick to let things go, even quicker to forgive. I grew up in an extremely abusive and dysfunctional household and it has taught me bad habits I guess.
Well to get to the damn point. I think my fiance has a drinking problem. Whenever he has one too many, he turns into a monster. One beer, two, is never enough. He gets drunk and acts like someone I have never met before. I get physically sick over it. There’s no love or compassion. He gets mean and aggressive and usually repeats things over and over again such as “yeah it’s always MY fault, I do everything wrong!” Or “what’s the point anymore”. It’s shocking every time. Our relationship is actually really healthy. We are happy 95 percent of the time. We laugh together every single day. I don’t know what is causing this.
he has thrown things in anger, taken my keys, yelled, and has threatened to leave the house and drive drunk. However he has not ever called me names, hit me, or threaten me in any way. I forgive him quickly and easily every single time. I have asked him to stop drinking but he thinks that is unfair. I guess I’m asking for advice on how to move forward. Obviously we could try counseling. but what can I do myself to change this pattern?
tonight for example I got home from work and he immediately left for the bar with his friends. I was fine with it. But then he wouldn’t respond to calls or texts. 4 hours later no call or text. 5 hours later icall and say please come home. He says he’s leaving. 2 hrs later he is still there. I was up waiting for him until 3 in the morning. When he got home I was obviously upset. I said it was ridiculous that he couldn’t keep in touch. He immediately started yelling and freaking out. That is not who he is, that is not how our relationship is. He went out for a beer and wings. He came home at 3 drunk and angry. i was sobbing. My father was an alcoholic and it really brings back terrible memories. I worry I’m making a bad decision marrying him. I worry he will never change.