Post # 1
Everything with my sister’s wedding has been a complete drama… She has like 5 bridal showers, 1 of which I can actually attend, it’s next weekend, that I CANCELLED PLANS to attend.. She sent out invitations 2 weeks ago to a bachelorette party, that I even told her that I might not be able to go to. She texted me this morning to ask me if I was coming, I told her I doubt it but I would try, all the sudden because I am a ‘bridesmaid’ (who has had NOTHING to do with planning ANYTHING including showers/parties) is expected to be there.. First off I am an unwilling bridesmaid, my mom GUILTED me into doing it because my sister is too much of a bitch to everyone and the one whos place I took, left the bridal boutique beausse she was such a handful, and wasn’t willing to take suggestions… I was told that the dress I was to wear would be paid for by my sister and my mother, as I have just moved into a new home and cannot afford ANYTHING… It’s not like it was unknown that I was going to have a very hectic month.. I never get to see my FH, this weekend will be one of the first times we have had to get to spend time together outside of unpacking the house, we are actually going to GO DO SOMETHING! And I refuse to cancel on him I WONT DO IT! Anyway.. This bachelorette party is apparently beginning to flop because none of her other ‘friends’ can make it.. If I didn’t have plans, I’d be there, but I am NOT cancelling again for her.. What on earth am I suppsed to do? I don’t want to be in her wedding at all anymore, but I just paid off the dress I wasn’t supposed to pay for, I paid for shoes that I couldn’t afford, and now I’m being treated like shit because all-a-sudden I am important.. What am I supposed to do.. Oh, and If the party were later in the evening, or earlier in the day I could do it, but its SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY 3:30-6:30. How is it fair to give someone 2 weeks notice and expect them to change plans.. PLEASE help.. I have been in tears far too many times over my bitchy sister’s wedding…
Post # 3
It sounds like you should have just put your foot down and declined being a bridesmaid. Your sister is clearly getting the vibe from you that you don’t want to be involved, and her feelings are probably hurt. You sound like you have a lot going on in your own life right now, but this is one of the most important days of her life, you know. Take a step back, take a breather, and try to imagine if nobody could come to your bachelorette. How would you feel? It doesn’t excuse her behavior, but it seems like a little understanding is warranted. Then go to your sister and explain your situation CALMLY, because you don’t want this to blow up into a fight, and tell her you would normally be there, but with the short notice you can’t do it. Try to explain that you have your own fiancee, and a house, and money is really tight. Emphasize you’ll still be standing there with her on her wedding day, she’s still family, and even though things have been strained you’re still sisters.
Even if she’s the worst bridezilla in the world, she’s still your sister.
Post # 5
Hugs to you.
Now, I don’t know much else about you and your sister’s relationship, but right now it’s sounding like the push and pull of one bride against the other.
As much as it sounds like you don’t want to roll over for her, she IS getting married, and also deserves to have *her* day as much as the next person. I don’t know about your expectations from her for your wedding festivities, but if you’d like her to be at any of those things, I’d highly suggest that you just suck it up and go to her events. *shrugs* I don’t mean to come across sounding too hardassed with my opinion (my friends say i am really blunt), but I feel strongly about this!
Post # 6
Let me get this straight , she is having 5 bridal showers. You are already schedule to attend one of them, right?
If you can’t make it, you just can’t . Don’t cancel on your FH.
Some of us brides somestime behave as if the world revolves around us.
Why does she need so many showers anyway?
Post # 7
@greenmachine838: I want to be involved, I have told her that MANY times, I wanted to help with the parties, the dresses, everything.. I wasn’t even there for the bridesmaids dress selection, because I was deided to be a bridesmaid AFTER the dress was chosen.. I have begged and pleaded to be involved to no avail. I very gently explained last week that I might not be able to make it, I have other things on my plate too… She is the one telling me to fuck off and leave her alone. She knows my situation, my mom has explained it, as have I.. I don’t know what else I can do to explain any further…
@pengoala: Our relationship has always been ‘rocky’ at best. And I don’t blame her for wanting to have ‘her’ day… But if she doesn’t show up to any of my stuff, hey, more power to her, she has other plans.. I told her about my plans, and that they’ve been made for months.. I am going to a bridal shower, that is ‘thrown by the bm’s’ that I didn’t even know about until I got an invitation in the mail with MY name on it.
Post # 8
@ashron: Our family is divorced, so she had one by her Future Mother-In-Law, one with my mom, one with the bm’s, one with my dad, and I forget why the other one… But this is a Bachelorette party, one of which I KNOW there will be drinking at (I don’t drink, by personal prefrence) I don’t understand what kind of fun I would be if I was the only one to show up anyway, being that none of the others are going either?
Post # 9
Wow, are we related because I think we share the same sister!! I was a bridesmaid in my sister’s wedding, but I was also active duty military at the time and lived several hundred miles away. Yet, I was still a “horrible sister” because I couldn’t make it to all her parties (only 1 I could actually attend because it allowed under 21 yr olds and I was only 19 at the time, but she wanted me to go to the others so I could Dirty Delete and wait in the car…) and she would flip out on me and our Mother cuz I was not making her time “special enough” to please her. You know what I did…I bought the dress and shoes and then came into town for the wedding day only. I told her if she would understand that even though she is the bride, that everyone else’s life is still happening regardless so she should be ok with what others can and can’t do.
Looking back, I’m glad that I was still in her wedding as she is my sister, BUT I’m also glad that I stood my ground, didn’t let her comments bother me AT ALL and didn’t bow to her every demand simply because she was the bride…maybe be in your sister’s wedding, but I would just stop worrying about pleasing her all the time, it’ll save you a lot of headache!! Some people are just never satisfied unless everyone around them is kissing their…er…let’s change phrases and say “worshipping the ground they walk on” lol. Good luck!!