(Closed) I need some serious advice

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It sounds like you should have just put your foot down and declined being a bridesmaid. Your sister is clearly getting the vibe from you that you don’t want to be involved, and her feelings are probably hurt. You sound like you have a lot going on in your own life right now, but this is one of the most important days of her life, you know. Take a step back, take a breather, and try to imagine if nobody could come to your bachelorette. How would you feel? It doesn’t excuse her behavior, but it seems like a little understanding is warranted. Then go to your sister and explain your situation CALMLY, because you don’t want this to blow up into a fight, and tell her you would normally be there, but with the short notice you can’t do it. Try to explain that you have your own fiancee, and a house, and money is really tight. Emphasize you’ll still be standing there with her on her wedding day, she’s still family, and even though things have been strained you’re still sisters.

Even if she’s the worst bridezilla in the world, she’s still your sister.

Post # 5
23636 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Hugs to you.

Now, I don’t know much else about you and your sister’s relationship, but right now it’s sounding like the push and pull of one bride against the other.

As much as it sounds like you don’t want to roll over for her, she IS getting married, and also deserves to have *her* day as much as the next person.  I don’t know about your expectations from her for your wedding festivities, but if you’d like her to be at any of those things, I’d highly suggest that you just suck it up and go to her events.  *shrugs* I don’t mean to come across sounding too hardassed with my opinion (my friends say i am really blunt), but I feel strongly about this!

Post # 6
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Let me get this  straight , she is having 5 bridal showers. You are already schedule to attend one of them, right?

If you can’t make it, you just can’t . Don’t cancel on your FH.

Some of us brides somestime behave as if the world revolves around us.

Why does she need so many showers anyway?

Post # 9
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow, are we related because I think we share the same sister!! I was a bridesmaid in my sister’s wedding, but I was also active duty military at the time and lived several hundred miles away. Yet, I was still a “horrible sister” because I couldn’t make it to all her parties (only 1 I could actually attend because it allowed under 21 yr olds and I was only 19 at the time, but she wanted me to go to the others so I could Dirty Delete and wait in the car…) and she would flip out on me and our Mother cuz I was not making her time “special enough” to please her. You know what I did…I bought the dress and shoes and then came into town for the wedding day only. I told her if she would understand that even though she is the bride, that everyone else’s life is still happening regardless so she should be ok with what others can and can’t do.

Looking back, I’m glad that I was still in her wedding as she is my sister, BUT I’m also glad that I stood my ground, didn’t let her comments bother me AT ALL and didn’t bow to her every demand simply because she was the bride…maybe be in your sister’s wedding, but I would just stop worrying about pleasing her all the time, it’ll save you a lot of headache!! Some people are just never satisfied unless everyone around them is kissing their…er…let’s change phrases and say “worshipping the ground they walk on” lol. Good luck!!

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