I need to break-up with a friend…..

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Im in the same position.. except im not manning up.. just gradually slipping away… i find it easier with less hurt feelings

Post # 4
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I have never felt the need to formally break up with a friend, slow distancing works wonders without the drama.

Post # 6
Member
3514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@MrsJKH2be:  I “broke up” with a friend last month. It was super awkward but I did it. I feel like slowly distancing myself would have been worst because she was the kind of friend who would text you and say I miss you where have you been let’s hang. It was best in my case to be direct and cut her loose.

Post # 8
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’d do a slow fade, especially since you’ll most definitely have to see her again 

Post # 10
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

That’s tough, because you know you’ll still have to see her… I’m sorry I can’t offer any advice because I tend to just not respond and be passive-agressive about it rather than confront and “break up” with a friend. 🙁

Post # 12
Member
954 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MrsJKH2be: 

 

It’s a tough place to be for sure!

 

I’ve been in your position, and I totally manned up and was honest with said friend, but not in a mean “you’re an awful person” way. It was very cordial, in that we didn’t jive, and had nothing in common.

 

I thought I was being mature, and if I were in her shoes, Iwould’ve appreciated the honestly… But this is why we didn’t mesh as friends, and she tried to trash my work reputation and get me fired :/ She bad mouthed me to everyone, and spread rumors about me taking behind their backs. I shouldn’t be surprised i. that her trash talk of our co-workers was the #1 reason that I decided not to stay friends with her, it put me in an awkward spot, being the one she complained to,about everyone. So I expected a bit of her trash talk, but because I didn’t want to stay friends, she couldn’t stand working with me…:/ again, I’m not the firstperson she tried to,get canned because of a work, ‘conflict’ , personal,conflict rather.

The reason I felt the need to end the friendship was that I had out of excitement at beingengaged asked her to be in the wedding, when we definitely didn’t have that kind of friendship yet, and the longer I knew her, and more I got to know her, Irealized that she and I were not compatible. We still worked together, so slowly growing apart, was not going to work either.

I think she was more upset she wasn’t going to be in the wedding anymore, rather than that our friendship was over :/

So I did what I do, and said nothing to anyone regarding our friendship fallout, I said nothing about her to anyone, and I treated her no differently, since we still worked together… But it was awful having to hear from everyone that she was gossiping about me, but it only solidified in my mind that I made the right choice.

I wish you much luck! 

 

Post # 13
Member
6960 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@MrsJKH2be:  I was just talking to a friend about this yesterday. He had a friend “fade away” and said it was the most hurtful thing ever. I think people who do that just don’t SEE the pain they are causing and it’s easier for them to not be confrontational. 

Since your SOs are friends, that’s going to be very hard. Even though the slow fade doesn’t really work well, I’d still just try to do that with her. A whole break up will just make things awkward when you do see each other. I did a full on break up with a friend of 15 years, but we only see each other maybe once a year at a mutual friend’s party. There are usually enough people that we can just avoid each other, so it’s not a problem. 

Post # 14
Member
3514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@MrsJKH2be:  It’s best to just be direct and say hey i dont wanna be friends anymore she’ll either say okay or start ranting but just keep calm and say i dont want to be your friend and thats that!

Post # 15
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@MrsJKH2be:  

@Kandiss16:  

@ieatunicorns:  

@Blonde17Jess:  

Don’t you want to get things off your chest when you want to break up with a friend? Your only chance to tell them how you really feel and not bother what the consequences are. It sounds tough at first but I would have thought it would be exilharating. 

Post # 16
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@PetalFace:  No, never. If I don’t want to be friends with someone I let it go and move on. There is nothing positive or helpful that would come out of doing this. It would bring way more drama than someone I don’t even want to be friends with is worth.

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