- 6 years ago
Okay so I have a problem. I think it’s something I can deal with, but I can’t stop thinking about it…
So first of all, I’ve been with my SO for about 3 yrs and I am crazy in love with him. He knows it, I know it, and our friends know it. I can’t wait to get married one day!
Second, I have this friend who is a guy, and we’ve been friends for several years, like best friends lately. Well I’ve crushed on him in the past, but it was done. He knows pretty much my whole life story with my current SO and exes too. He knows I really really can’t wait to get engaged to my SO. He also tells me about all the girls he dates or likes. He’s really awesome for real. Yeah, there have been a few times, he says something flattering and I get excited, then remind myself, i’m being crazy. And he has hung out with SO and myself together and they get along well. I’m in love with my SO so any kinda crush feelings I have are quickly forgotten. The gyst is we are awesome friends, like bffs, and sometimes I crush on him, but nothing big.
Now for my problem. we hung out, recently without my SO and it was fun, totally normal. Nothing bad happened, as we are just friends. But for some reason, I woke up with the hugest crush on him the next day. Like I COULD NOT stop thinking about him. I figured oh it’ll go away just like all the other times, but it hasn’t. Well, it’s only been about 5 days, but it hasn’t lasted this long in a long time. He’s said a few comments about other girls in these days and it makes me a little jealous. It feels like the times I used to like him before I started dating my SO. I get excited when I get to talk to him and sad when he has to go. And if I don’t talk to him all day (we usually chat every day), I feel like I need to get my fix. Yesterday, I thought I was over it because I felt super in love with my SO when we were hanging out. But THEN, I had a dream about him last night, about what it would be like if we dated. I woke up with a crush AGAIN! I think it’s gradually going away. I hope so, at least. In the mean time, though, I’m going crazy. I have this crazy urge to tell him, but I know I shouldn’t because nothing will come of it anyway as I am 100% sure I want my SO. Maybe I just want to hear he crushes on me too, but what’s the point in that. It’s probably a little selfish since we are not going to be together anyway. Ugh! but every time I talk to him I have to fight that urge. It’s like I just wanna say “i love you!” but I don’t LOVE him. I don’t think. I mean I’m pretty sure it’s just a major crush, but it HAS to stop! AHH! okay so that was my little vent. I don’t even know if I’m asking any questions, but I guess I just wanna know if it’s okay that this is happening. I mean I know it’s normal to get little harmless crushes here and there, while in a relationship, but in this case, I just can’t get him out of my mind! ayyyy. I don’t know what to DO!