Post # 1
OK so I’m extremely annoyed with my FI right now. We are trying to save up to buy a house and we just got engaged on Saturday. Sunday, he decides he wants a new phone. He had a Blackberry Curve but saw they came out with a new Blackberry that is like a flip phone. His buddy told him he would give him $60 for his old Blackberry if FI got the new one. FI goes ahead and orders the new phone. HE JUST GOT THE BLACKBERRY CURVE A YEAR AGO! I don’t understand men and their need for new technology. I asked him how much he spent on this new phone. He told me $200, but he gets a $100 mail-in rebate and his buddy is giving him $60 so technically he is only spending $40. I told him that that’s not the point. I don’t understand why he NEEDS a new phone. He could have gotten a free phone and sold his friend his other phone and took that $60 and put it in his savings. We are far from millionaires and we really need all the spare change we can get. It just irritates me when I’m so serious about saving money and he’s not. I have to admit for the past few months he’s been good and hasn’t bought himself anything crazy like he used to, but I still have so much more money saved up than he does. He threw in my face that I go get my nails done, which is true… but I was planning on getting the acrylic nails taken off next time I went anyways. The difference between me and him is that I take X amount of my paycheck and deposit it in my savings right away. Then I pay my bills and I usually have some spending money left over which will either go in my savings or yeah, I might get my nails filled. He’s the one with the savings problem. Although I feel like now that he bought the ring he thinks he deserves a new “toy”. I think I’m especially irritated because we both quit smoking yesterday AND I’m PMS’ing (sorry if TMI). But… am I wrong here for being mad? I don’t like that he HAS to have a new phone and I’m mad that he’s spending money on something he doesn’t need! GRRR!
Post # 3
In my mind $40 isn’t much to get mad about if it isn’t a frequent occurance.
It sounds like you two should make a budget and both agree to save X amount each month. My Fi makes a lot more than me so he saves more, but percentage wise of our salaries, it’s about equal.
And it could be worse…my fiance bought a new pickup truck the day he proposed. Ha!
Post # 4
I understand completely and yes I get mad at these things too but it is his money and he can do with it what he wishes… even though in reality he SHOULD probably be saving money for the house and other necessities. So you definitely have a reason to be peeved about it but I think you are just having a bit of rage right now and you will probably not be as mad later on =)
Post # 5
I think it probably makes you more mad because you are PMSing 🙂 I say pick your battles and let this one go.
I agree with @udlaurak about making a budget though. That way you can both be accountable for saving!
ETA: Good job on quitting the smoking btw 🙂
Post # 6
I agree with @udlaurak: $40 is not an amount I would feel I or my FI would have to account for. I think the nicotine withdrawal may be affecting your reasoning(but keep up the non-smoking! You will never regret quitting).
Sit down and work out a plan together. Figure out how much money should each of you deposit in a savings account each month relative to your income.
If you are living together (I wasn’t sure) decide who pays what bills, how much you each kick in for miscellaneous expenses etc and what’s left can be spent with no questions asked.
Post # 7
I can empathize with you (b/c my hubby is a HUGE electronics fan), but it’s best not to “scold” him about it because it will probably come back to “haunt” you so to speak. While planning a wedding, I’m sure there will be things that he feels are unecessary. So, it might be best to let it go. However, try to sit down sometime (while you’re not irritated or PMS’ing) and create a plan to save for both of your dreams together!
P.S. I was never a saver until I met my man. I was very hesitant and resistant at first, but I slowly came around. Maybe your fiance’ will begin to “see the light” in the near future too!
Post # 8
its done so vent away and tomorrow will be a better day
Post # 9
At least it’s just $40. My SO had to fly somewhere for work, so instead of bringing his computer to watch movies and an IPhone to listen to music, he goes out and purchases a BRAND NEW IPAD just for the one day trip! I thought I was going to strangle him!
Post # 10
@LaviniaRose2013: Hahaha OK yeah that’s way worse. Funny because my FI wanted an iPad too a few months ago. I would have flipped if he bought it.
I think you all are right though. I know $40 isn’t a lot, but it’s just the point. He didn’t NEED a new phone. I have had my phone for over 2 years, I don’t care to have a new one. I would love to buy a designer handbag, and shop at stores like Bebe and Coach but I don’t because I don’t NEED those things. I guess I just have to accept that we’re different when it comes to that. He makes more money than I do but I still have more saved. It just irks me. But I do think us sitting down and discussing how much money we should be putting aside every month is a good idea.
Thank you guys so much for the advice and your kind words
Post # 11
he goes out and purchases a BRAND NEW IPAD
i told my husband to take the day off work and relaxed – i should have told him specifically to stay home because he went to the camera store to “just look” at something and $5K (yes thats thousand) later he rings me. to add insult to injury he said “i get a $100 cashback from nikkon” – oh yeah, $100 makes such a big difference honey
Post # 12
Men…. AAHHH!! I was trying to convince FI that he didnt need those damn speakers he just bought (although only $100) and that I had a perfectly good brand new set that I hadn’t used (that was like 60 bucks). They were both logitechs so its not like my set was a piece of crap. But nope, he HAD to have the one he wanted even though hes the one reminding me that we need to save for the wedding whenever i want to buy something for the house.
Post # 13
oh man i feel your pain, my FI is living at home not paying any rent, in debt up to his ears and thinks that he’s going to Myrtel Beach in Oct for a golf weekend! I’m doing my best to talk him out of it I’m living on my own paying all of my bills and doing my best to figure out how i’m going to save for a wedding! Good Luck!
Post # 14
@eloping I just sputtered a little bit. 5 THOUSAND?! It’s like “oh yeah, thanks honey for that $100 you’re getting us back. The other $4900 could’ve bought us something we really needed, but hey, thanks for the benjamin!”
He gets irritated when I go shopping and buy a $60 pair of shoes (they are beautiful sparkly Steve Maddens), but he can go drop HUNDREDS on an IPAD?! I already told him that we’re doing financial pre-marital counseling because there is no way he’s going to magically watch his spending. He’s an only child and has gotten WHATEVER he has ever wanted. That’s not happening in the LR household, let me just tell you!
Post # 15
@LaviniaRose2013: i know! and we are off to singapore soon and he dumps on me how he wants to buy a special underwater housing for it – i ask how much… eventually he tells me $3K *faint*. i told him having a mistress would be cheaper