Post # 1
*Before I start let me say that clothes are important to me. It’s not so much superficial, but that I’m a design student. It’s something I love and notice right away.*
My sister and I were were talking tonight and she said her Boyfriend or Best Friend (full disclosure: he’s an ex of mine that I ditched after I found out he was making out with one of my friends) asked what to wear to the wedding and she told him “It’s a West T wedding so jeans or khakis with a nice shirt is fine.” And his reply was “Well it’s the queen of West T’s wedding so I wasn’t sure.”
First off, that irritates the hell out of me. Just because we’re having the wedding in our tiny redneck/whitetrash hometown doesn’t mean our wedding will be that way and I’m not the queen of anything.
Well this sparked a debate about whether or not jeans are wedding attire. I, personally, say no. Our wedding is not black tie, but I would appreciate it if you put in some effort and wore some nice pants/slacks. I really don’t think that’s too much to ask. So she said I should have put formal attire on the invites, but I don’t need or want everyone in tuxes or suits. I’m just asking nice clean dress pants or khakis and a clean shirt. Then she says “You can’t tell me H has never worn jeans to a wedding.” Umm, no he hasn’t sorry.
I’m aware that in this economy and in my hometown that we may have one or two people show up in jeans. I would never say a word, but inside I’d be disappointed. I put all this hard work in by myself to plan and organize everything and you show up in jeans. My head just screams “This isn’t dinner at Applebees!”
I’m aware this may seem shallow, but I needed to get that out because nobody here seems to understand. I’m trying to make this a nice event, but everyone around me is trying to drag it down.
Post # 3
Wow. This might be one of those serious differences in locale, but I cannot understand, under any circumstances, how anyone could wear jeans to a wedding. WTH.
I’m so sorry that family, of all people, isn’t matching their attire to the significance of the location! It goes without saying, but I would politely tell your sister that it is a very important event for you and you expect your family and their guests to respect that in their attire.
Post # 4
I would have put “semi-formal” on the invites. Semi formal is a nice shirt and pants. NOT jeans.
I can’t imagine anyone ever wearing jeans to a wedding. It’s a wedding! How do you think that what you can wear camping is also appropriate for what is probably one of the most formal events you will ever attend?!
Post # 5
Do you have a wedding website? That’s a good place to clarify a dress code (semi formal, or whatever).
Post # 6
Ah, thank you! I was beginning to wonder if I was having a crazy moment. I didn’t put anything on the invites because I assumed everyone would dress semi-formal and I didn’t want to seem demanding.
I just don’t understand how they think it’s ok. Maybe it’s the lack of weddings in my family or… I don’t know. I mean my cousin got married a couple years ago and everyone dressed nice.
Edit: No we didn’t do a website because no one would look at it.
Post # 7
being from indiana…. i totally understand where you are coming from! i would not be happy if someone showed up in jeans to my wedding…. they should know better… im putting semi formal dress somewhere on my wedding website… ugh… people! lol
Post # 8
@stephanie63087: I’m so glad it’s not just me. My sister looked at me like I was insane for even saying anything. We didn’t do a wedding website because no one would bother looking at it.
Post # 9
Um… My Fiance, the groomsmen, my father, and my stepfather are going to wear jeans to our wedding. I don’t see why you wouldn’t if you were going to a casual wedding. (Not saying that anyone should at yours, but there are some weddings that you can wear jeans to). Some jeans are more stylish and costly than a lot of people’s dress pants.
Post # 10
That’s so frustrating, especially since it’s family- your sister should understand. I’ve joked that we’ll need to define cocktail attire on our website, or at least ask that they wear their black Wranglers and good boots. *sigh* Some people just don’t like dressing up.
Post # 11
@pinkhorse: It’s a matter of the tone of the event. Generally weddings are events where pants are worn, so unless stated otherwise by word of mouth, I would wear pants (well not me, but the men would).
If your wedding is a jean sort of wedding then that’s great! But by the same token you want to let people know so that they don’t feel out of place when the turn up in pants. This is just the opposite situation.