(Closed) I need to vent about my dad (LONG)

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
598 posts
Busy bee

This should not come as a surprise to you…. you clearly haven’t had a close relationship to your biological father for your entire life. When it comes down to you choosing who you want to walk you down the isle, that is up to you and only you IMO, your mom shouldn’t really have a say.

The only reason you are having him walk you down the isle is to avoid him causing any trouble… that doesn’t sound right, but it is what it is I guess. I think deep down you would probably be happier walking down with your step father because you clearly see him as a true father figure. I know of many people who have mad much better relationships with their step parent than their actual parent.

I’d pick step dad, if biological dad really cared he wouldn’t b**** about renting a tux for his daughters wedding.

Post # 4
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

In understand that you and your mother want to avoid drama by placating your father by having him walk you down the aisle, etc.

But sometimes what seems to be the easiest option maybe isn’t the best option.

Your step-dad has done a lot for you and it really speaks to his character that he would do all of these things for you and yet still understand why you would choose your bio-“dad” to walk to down the aisle. Personally, I would choose step-dad if I were you.

My Fiance cut his parents out of his life. We’re gradually trying to get his mom back into our lives (she’s unfortunately just a battered woman), but we have no interest in having his dad or sister back. It would have been easiest to keep a relationship with them despite the drama and dysfunction because there wouldn’t be drama. However, it wasn’t healthy for us and after a lifetime of pleasing others we realized that you have to think of yourself. And your wedding day is maybe the one time you are really allowed to put yourself first and its okay!

So, I understand wanting to avoid drama. But it is YOUR wedding (and I’m sure if you haven’t already, you’ll hear that a lot) and its the beginning of your new life with your Fiance. Take care of yourself and do what is right for you – not just what will make somebody else happ.y.

Post # 5
629 posts
Busy bee

Maybe I’m secretly a bitter person inside, but I would just say “Wear what you want, but then you’re just a guest and step dad is walking me down the aisle. He’s earned it anyway.” But that’s just me.

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