- 3 years ago
My fiance ex got custody of her kids back. Which means she’s petitioning to take my fi daughter for scheduled visits.
I would be fine with it, but the reason he got a restraining order was because of how she came back.
A yeast infection, every. Single. Time.
She has problems with pooing because her mother spanked her every time she did.
She is afraid of being alone in her room in the dark.
And so many other things.
Not to mention there’s a police report because she left her baby alone and went to a bar.
Recently I had our daughter. And his daughter did a 180. Last month, she developed sores on her bum and she regressed ten fold. To the point we had to pry her legs open to clean her while she screamed bloody murder.
I was horrified the entire time. Apparently according to him and the rest of the family, it wasn’t the worst episode they had.
Now, she’s pooing in the potty, peeing as well. She still needs a pull up for peeing at night, but it’s such a drastic improvement.
She is also listening better and talking back less. She’s willing to try new foods.
So listening to him talk to his ex, and tell her that he would sign off on the papers, made me lose a gasket. Then he had a casual conversation like it’s all okay with them.
All the work, time, and effort right out the window.
She doesn’t even try. Barely pays child support. Sends shitty gifts. She didn’t get her on Medicaid, I had to. She didn’t even make an effort to visit. Only calls once a week if that. And claimed she had aspergers because she didn’t want to talk on the phone.
And my fi response to all of this is that she’s her mother, and he doesn’t want her growing up hating him because he kept her from her mom.
My calm broken response is that I have no say in this, because she isn’t mine. All I can do is heal her wounds when she comes back. And hope to god she doesn’t grow up totally damaged. He then asked me if I wanted him to fight for her. I just lost it then. He should want to fight himself. Why take a chance? And later on explain to her why we did what we did. Show her every thing and let her decide when she’s older if she wants a relationship.
Don’t get me wrong. If her mom made an effort, was active in her life, I wouldn’t despise her. I’d become friends with her and share in the joys of this wonder we have. I’m not jealous. I want her mom to be the best mom in the world for her.
But with her past actions against him, her, and her other children, I don’t know how I’m going to handle any of this.
It just sucks. And I have no way of venting my feelings except here on the bee.
So thanks for reading this if you did. It helped to get it all out.