Post # 1
hey everyone….i need your opinions on a few things. here goes…
first…i cant seem to get my mom interested in any of my wedding plans. everytime i bring up anything to do with my wedding i get very short un-interested responses. since i live in a different state i tried to at least get her involved in my dress shopping since ive always imagined my mom being a big part of that. i took pictures at every bridal place that allowed me to do so. i sent her an email with the pictures of the first few that i liked….it took her almost a week to get back to me even though shes on the computer almost every day. the first line of her email was sorry i didn’t back to you soon but we’ve had alot going on in our lives. she barely said anything about the dresses. she said they were pretty. that was it. i was kind of hurt about it. it made me feel like she was saying that i wasn’t as important as her, my little sis, and my step-dad. this was a few months ago…now my brother is engaged and his wedding is 4 months after mine. shes involved with the planning of his wedding and is excited about it but i still cant get her interested in mine. all i want is her to be interested and excited. i dont want money. im afraid that if i confront her about it she’ll start giving the interest and excitement out of guilt and i dont want that. i love my mom with all my heart and i just want her to show interest in her own daughters wedding. while i was home my grandma actually asked me what my mom was helping out with for the wedding right in front of my mom and all my mom could do was shrug. ive tried to talk to her about it and get her opinion on things but every attempt seems to fall flat. second…my brother is getting married and im the only sibling between him and his fiance that wasn’t asked to be in the wedding party. im kind of hurt about it. i know that if i confront or ask my brother about it i’ll just end up looking like the bad guy. i guess what i really needed was an outlet for all of this. kind of wondering what all of you guys think about it. thats all.
Post # 3
I am sorry you are going through this. Maybe your mom is feeling sad about you getting married because you won’t be her little girl anymore. She is probably very happy for you, but sad at the same time because you are growing up. Sometimes daughters are very hard for moms to give up. She just may not know how to express her feelings to you. Maybe send her a special letter letting her know that you still love her and would love to have her help with your wedding and that you will still be her little girl.
Post # 4
I’m sorry this is happening to you. It’s difficult when a parent (or sibling or whoever) isn’t interested in your wedding or comes across as such. For me this is my dad, he’s very self involved and if he calls my sister or I it’s to talk about himself – he never asks us about what’s going on with us and when I went to visit him after I got engaged it took him 45 minutes for him to comment on the fact that I was getting married and that was only after my sister asked him if he was going to say anything about it. Sometimes parents aren’t what you want them to be and it can be hard to let go of what you wish they (and your relationship with them) could be like.
Noritake is probably right – she might not be coping with the fact that you’re growing up, and it might be easier for her to focus on your little sister and your step dad cos they’re there where she like em to be! Maybe you could talk to her about it if you think this might be the case – it might help to clear the air a bit.
I hope you’ve got someone who you can be excited about your wedding with – friends and stuff, try to enjoy the supportive people you have around you and you know if you want opinions or excitedness about your dress from people you could always post it on here!
Post # 5
thank you sooo much!!! both of you!!! we are moving back to my hometown area in a month and im hoping that my mom and i will become closer when it comes to my wedding. she confides in me about stuff she doesn’t tell most people but for some reason the wedding stuff just isn’t going so well when it comes to her. miss sparkelspaniel…..im sorry to hear that about your dad. 🙁 why are parents so hard to figure out sometimes?
i do have family members that are excited about my wedding who are ready and eager to help me out in any way they can so im trying to focus on that but its still hard at times. my dad and his sisters have told me multiple times to just let them know if i need their help with anything.
oh and if ya’ll would like to see my dress id be happy to post it 🙂 ive also got my bouquet 90% finished since im using fake flowers because i cant afford real ones with my budget.
Post # 6
I agree with what the above posters said about your mom maybe being sad to see her little girl growing up. But maybe it is the distance thing too? i know you’re trying to involve her, but maybe the pictures you’re sending her are just reminding her how far away she is from you and how she wasn’t there to go shopping with her little girl. Does your brother live in the same town/area as your mom? If so, maybe once you move back to the town where she lives she’ll start showing more interest and excitement because she’ll be in the thick of things, so to speak. Maybe right now she just feels unimportant to the planning process because she’s not there in person to help with these decision? I would talk to her about how you feel about this too. Maybe she doesn’t realize how she’s treating you and how that is hurting you. I hope things improve!
Post # 7
I agree with Rabbit! And yeah, I’d love to see your dress & bouquet!
Post # 8
My FMIL is going to be the same way… she just isn’t going to care one bit about any of it, which really makes me sad because I was hoping it would be a bonding experience. I’m really sorry your mom isn’t interested, maybe she’s having a hard time with her little girl growing up? I know my mom is kind of having a hard time with it and is going out to lunch with her friends more.
Post # 9
My mom is overly excited, oy…but my close friend’s mom has been totally uninterested. According to my friend, her mom was having trouble with her boyfriend of many years, as she wanted to get married and he didn’t (would be 2nd wedding for both). Her own wedding drama is preventing her from being excited for my friend.
Just thinking about your mom, and Sparkle’s dad…parents are people too, and sometimes they can act in a way that’s mean, confusing, and shocking for what seems like no good reason at all.
Post # 10
thank you ladies!!! @rabbit – my brother and his fiance live out of state also. i tried to get her involved in the planning when i was home for 3 weeks in october but no joy. im hoping that things will improve once we move back to the area. my fiance is military so unfortunately we dont really have much control over where he gets stationed.