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I think it's beautiful what you are doing....not a buzz kill at all, you are remembering and honoring. So special! You have me teary eyed.
Could you put together a slide show to play during your (you and FI) first dance?
Given the right song, you could start with pictures of the two of you as babies and children so there would be pics of your Dad. You can progress with pics of the men who stepped up and then to pics of the two of you. I would suggest a song that starts out slowly then increases in tempo so the mood is more festive at the end. If you don't have a song like that, you could put together a medley of songs.
@julies1949: We are probably going to do a slideshow to just run through dinner on a loop for people who want to see it, but I think if we had it playing during our first song no one would pay any attention to us lol I definitely am going to include pictures of all the important people in our lives-
I think it might be a beautiful sentiment. You know your friends and family better than anyone. Possibly think about having the officiant or minister say something to honor them. Or after your mother gives you away have your officiant ask the others to also agree to support and love you both as a couple.
@Miss Ke Aloha That's a nice idea too- I have seen that done on tv before (four weddings) thank you for your input!
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So another bee posted about wanting to remember deceased relatives by playing a special song dedication to them but being afraid to kill the mood... While I don't want to do that exactly, I kind of am in a similar situation... My dad died when I was 12 and my mom never dated or remarried or anything, so when I am supposed to have my father daughter dance I thought of maybe doing 2 toasts instead- one in memory of my dad and then one to all my "adopted" fathers over the years (my dad's friends, my uncle who stepped up to come to my dances/sports games/graduations/etc.)
I thought it would be a really good idea but I know it would also be such a buzz kill and it would get my immediate family crying and possibly a few tears elsewhere... I'm worried enough about walking down the aisle- I know it's going to take everything I have not to cry knowing he should be walking me... And I forbade my mom (and sisters) from crying because they all did (me=guilty) at my older sisters wedding and it was awful and the pictures were terrible and I just want to be happy and I wont be able to hold it together and be pretty if they ugly cry :)
ANYWAY advice? I know a picture on a table with a candle is nice... I just feel like it's my Dad... I should acknowledge him on one of the most important days of my life, one he would have played a major part in if he had any say in it... And that I should also acknowledge the men who helped pick up the pieces and fill in when he couldn't be there-