Post # 1
And not weddingbees. Honey bees.
My FI is an arborist. Lately he’s been complaining about how sometimes the guys on his job sites come upon hives in the trees they cut down and simply throw them away. He said it really bothers him, which I totally get.
I called him today and asked him what he was up to. His response? “Setting up our new friends.”
He was cutting down a tree today and found a 200 pound beehive and decided to TAKE IT HOME and PUT IT IN OUR BACKYARD.
He said he needed to “save the bees” and that they could pollenate our flowers. I love his compassionate nature toward all living things, but I think it’s simply stupid and dangerous to have thousands of bees living in our yard.
First off, my mother is deathly allergic to bees. She visits often. Is she to totally avoid our backyard? Never come to BBQs?
Second, I’m terrified of bees. As a child, I watched my mother get stung and go into anaphylactic shock. It was very traumatizing. I have never been strung and worry that I could also be allergic.
I just think this is totally insane. My FI does not understand my reaction at all and is acting like I’m being a controlling jerk because I told him he needs to have a beekeeper come and get it.
This is literally the most ridiculous argument I’ve ever had… it would be funny if there weren’t a huge hive chilling in my backyard right now.
Post # 3
Woahhhhhhh. Yeah I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be okay with a 200 lb. hive in my back yard either…
There is really no national forest or park or something he could take this thing to? That would seem a bit more appropriate to me.
Post # 4
@MsMonkey: Oh no he didn’t!!! If he likes bees so much he can visit an apiary but stealing a hive and putting it in your yard is crossing the line.
Post # 5
@MsMonkey: HOLY EFFING CRAP. No. No, no, no. I’m terrified of bees and I would not step foot outside the house until they were gone. NOPE.
Post # 6
No way would I be okay with a ton of bees near my house. They terrify me!
Post # 7
Honestly, bees are sweet!I let them crawl all over me and I’ve never been stung.
They are very important and in so much danger. Think of the honey!
From what I understand they are pretty chill to have. My aunt loves having them.
I’d read up on it a bit before reapproaching the arguent. I’m hugely biased on this though, I’ll admit!
Post # 8
Yeah, I’m totally appalled. I have researched and found multiple people who will come take it for free and add it to their own bee collection. He can still “save the bees,” just not in my yard.
@Baimee: I respect his desire to keep them safe and he does often bring home honey from hives he finds at work. But I just can’t have that many bees in my backyard when I have a family member who is very seriously allergic. She wouldn’t even step foot in my backyard.
Post # 9
He should call a bee keeper to take the hive. There is more of raising bees than just sticking them in your back yard. And it’s serious when a family member has an allergy to them. I would talk to him about this. Maybe there is a beekeeping bee that can hook you up with some more info, if not dm me and I’ll contact a bee who isn’t around anymore who is a beekeeper.
Post # 10
Oh wow! I agree with your fiance in that it’s really important to save bees right now; they are dying rapidly, and it could have a huge effect on our ecosystem.
But bringing a 200 pound hive HOME?! When your mom is allergic?! Without asking you about it first????? Surely there is another way he could have handled this! More than anything, I’d just be upset that he didn’t talk to me before bringing it home.
I wonder if there are some local beekeepers you could contact who would be able to keep them safe instead.
Post # 11
@tksjewelry: That was my point exactly. He tends to get these crazy ideas and lose interest quickly… I’m certain he’ll lose interest in this hive by springtime and then they’ll either die or become a complete disaster… there are mannnyyyyy beekeepers in our area who will take them.
@sunsetchristy: That is exactly what I’m upset about. We recently got into a disagreement because I planned our anniversary date without asking him first. I’m pretty sure doing this without consulting me is exactly the same thing. He does NOT understand that, though.
Our engagement party is on Saturday and I’d really like my family to feel comfortable in our yard!
Post # 12
@MsMonkey: Im deathly frightened of bees. i wouldnt even be in the house right now for fear one could get inside. that 200lb hive has to go. those bees will be swarming in no time. as a PP suggested, call a beekeeper and see if they can safely move it to a more appropriate location
Post # 13
As someone with a deathly Bee allergy, I wouldn’t go to a house with a 200-lb beehive at ALL–even inside!
It definitely has to go!
Post # 15
Okay, that’s crazy! Maybe you should start looking up places that will take the bee hives where professionals can take care of them. I’m sure there are beekeepers somewhere in your area. I would ask around and then see if that’s an option for your FI. I can’t believe he would do that! I can understand not killing them, but seriously it’s bad for you and bad for the bees. They are just going to be stressed out being around people who are afraid of them.
Post # 16
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I understand his point on trying to be environmentally conscious but “my mother is deathly allergic to bees.”
No effing way should a bee hive be anywhere near your home. It’s not like if she were allergic to a cat, and could take a benadryl before visiting (as my Mom does.) If my cat bites my Mom, she won’t die.
End of discussion.