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I depends. Have you and your MOH/BM's talked about the bachelorette party together, if so, I think it should be paid for by your MOH/BM's. If you are doing the planning alone, then its probably out of your pocket. I would ask them for a contribution for the occassion. Do they know that you are paying for the wedding?
I was told that I wouldnt have barely any say in the party except the guest list and what kind of Champagne I wanted, the rest is left up to the MOHs...
Have talked to the bridal party about how the bachelor/ette party is going to be paid for? You probably shouldn't assume anything! If you want them to pay for the party, make sure they know! They might have though you were already planning, and therefore paying, for the party.
just a thought...maybe they feel like you overstepped their planning boundaries by booking the party bus??
Well... it seems like since YOU booked the party bus, that's why they think YOU are paying for it. I understand why you want to have a co-bachelor/ette party, but those types of parties are usually thrown FOR you, and not something you plan for yourself. Generally if the bride/groom want something in particular that may or may not be in the budget of their party, then they have to chip in to help with the costs - does that make sense?
We have a limo for a bachelorette party I'm planning (I'm the MOH), and I'm not expecting the bride to contribute, but if she had booked it in the beginning before me and/or declared "this is what I want" then I might think she should have to contribute. Normally the bride/groom will just get whatever type of party their friends can afford/are willing to throw them. If you're involving yourself in the planning, then you probably have to involve yourself in paying.
Well if the rest is up to your BMs, maybe having a limo wasn't in the plan. I think of a bachelorette as an "extra" expense. Something that isn't required. So it might have been something that they planned as more low key than you were thinking.
No I don't think you should pay for your bachelorette, for the most part. But if you want something your BM's aren't prepared to pay for, you'll either have to pay for it yourself, or do without.
Yeah, I think maybe they were not planning on having the party bus and they figured since you were booking it, you were paying for it.
I didn't really have any say in my bach party...the girls planned the whole thing.
I don't know that there's a right or wrong in this situation. Its dependent on communication. It sounds like your sister didn't understand what you were saying, she might not realize that you'd like them to pay for it. I'd be direct, as awkward as it might feel. I had the convo early on with my bridal party, to let them know what I was paying for, and anything else was on them. So if they chose to do a bachelorette party or a shower, that was their chose.
It sounds like you're planning your own party, and if you're planning it, you pay for it. If you don't want to pay for it, you have to wait until someone offers to throw one for you. If they are throwing it for you, stay out of the planning completely so they can plan something that they can afford. Maybe they were thinking of doing something more low key or whatever, but if you don't want to pay for it, stop planning it!
Agree with the others. You shouldn't be planning anything and if there is something you want that is above their ideas then you should pay for it. So maybe go back and talk to your sister and make sure the two of you are on the same page. She may have thought the price you told her was for the rental both nights or that someone else was taking care of it.
You don't have to pay for your Bachelorette but you do not have to have a party bus! If you decide you must have a party bus - you have to pay for it. I think saying you want a coed party is within the bounds, it might step on your MOH's toes a little bit but the guest list should be something you have input in - anything else no unless someone asks your opinion (which hopefully they would - but they don't have to).
Either you don't pay for anything and give up all planning rights, or you plan it and pay for it. Frankly I would be pissed if I were a BM and had to unexpectedly pay for a limo (?!) for a night of barhopping.
I think some of you misunderstood...
The party bus was always in the plan, it was a surprise and I didnt go out to do it myself. My MOH's and I thought up the party bus and my Matron said she was pricing some out. And then the phone calls started "This place has a bus for this much" and "This place's party bus has this in it". It was only then that I said "Well I will book it when I book my limo to get a better deal."
I didnt go off and pick a bus myself, party bus was always in the plan with the MOH's, I just booked it to help THEM out.
I'm paying for part of the limo for my bachelorette party and MOH is paying the rest. I wouldn't have been able to have one if I didn't chip in for it :(
you booking it may have made her think she could pawn it off on you, but no, your not supposed to pay for that
A bachelorette party is supposed to be given by people who offer to do it, who then pay for it. Among other things, this ensures that they only have a party they can afford to fund. If you start booking things and then expecting them to pay, you're going to have a problem.
Well, you aren't really supposed to pay for your own bachelorette party (unless you're flying out of town or something, then i believe in at least buying your own ticket) but since you took it upon yourself to book the limo, in the eyes of everyone else, you essentially assumed payment and control of that. Even if they agreed it was a good price and wanted one before, the fact that you booked it basically gives the impression you are paying for it.
This is news to me that I'm not suppose to pay for anything. We are going to Montreal for my bachelorette party (girls coming from Boston and NYC).
I got us a hotel using hotel points so everyone saved on that, but otherwise I budgeted money for the trip. I'm sure my friends will buy most of my drinks when we go out, but I wouldn't expect them to pay for EVERYTHING.
You need to 1) talk to them and explain what you need from them and 2) don't make any decisions or reservations because then you are just assuming they will pay for it and they may not...it's kinda rude to expect them to pay if you are planning it.
I don't think you should pay the whole bill! My girls and I are going to Myrtle Beach for the weekend and I am paying my own way. It made it more affordable for everyone so I don't mind at all. I'm just glad they all are going and spending the $ they are spending. I am so appreciative.
But, they should at least split the bill with you! Or at least offer!
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So I am a bit confused...
My FI and I are paying for our wedding ourselves, and when we decided to do a joint bachelor/ette party, we thought we were being economical (especially since all of our friends party together anyways).
So while I was booking our wedding limo, I decided to book our party bus there as well just to ensure some kind of package pricing (Chicago area ladies, look at Luxus Limos, awesome prices!!). So when I called my Matron (my older sister, and host of the Bachelor/ette) and my MOH (my younger sister--she's in college still so I can understand the lack of funding) to tell them the price of the party bus, they agreed it was a good price but then my Matron said "Well as long as you're happy about it because that's a lot of money for you to spend when the other parts of the wedding are costing you a lot." Later, I ask my MOH if the Matron was inferring that I was paying for the bus. MOH confirmed that she thought the party bus was "included" in the price of my wedding limo?
WTH?!?!?!?!?!?!?
So, my dear bees, my question is...am I supposed to pay for my own bachelorette party? Arent the Best Men/MOHs supposed to fund or find funding for this event?