Post # 1
so were having a courthouse wedding and were inviting around 20-30 people that are close friends and family. ONE of the reasons were having a courthouse wedding is because were buying a house and we just wanted to get married already and not spend alot of money.
i had a friend that recently got married same way, and they had dinner at a restaurant and her guests paid for their own meal. My mom mentioned it and i told her i feel weird asking for my guests to pay for their dinner.
The restaurant i picked would be like $1000 for our dinner and no charge for room rental which i think is pretty good?
any opinions on this subject?
Post # 3
I think $1000 for dinner and no room rental fee is a decent deal for that many people. That’s about what our brunch is costing us for 30-35 with dessert included. I wouldn’t ask guests to pay for their own meal.
Post # 4
My restaurant would be about the same, around $900 for about 25 guests, but I am not having that anymore, so it will be cheaper for 5-6 people….
Post # 5
You should pay for the dinner, $1,000 isn’t all that much in the grand scheme of things, not to mention that you’ll probably end up with gifts that will cover most of it. So when you get your new home you may have to put off buying a new sofa, but I would value that dinner higher than a new piece of furniture.
Post # 6
Close friends and family should know your situation & be fine with it.
Although it may depend on whether or not they would also be bringing you gifts. I know that weddings are not supposed to be quid pro quo, as in I’m giving a gift b/c I got a free food & entertainment. They should be given out of the true wish to honor a couple starting out on their journey.
But unfortunately, many people still see it this way. Consider the matching of a gift’s value to the cost of per person plate at the reception.
If you mom suggested it, I would guess that it would be ok to have people pay their own way. It’s their choice to come or not. You can always gift them with a small wedding favor as a token of your appreciation.
Post # 7
You should pay for their dinners.
Post # 8
i calculated everything and it would be around 1500 which i still think is reasonable.
but to be honest im not so sure my guests will bring gifts =[
Plus our phootgrapher probably another 1000 so wed be spending less than 3gs total.
Post # 9
every one knows our situation because we cancelled our big wedding and postponed it like twice, i just feel iffy about asking them to pay it, my mom mentioned it so we could have a weekend away after were married, but im still not fully convinced on either if i should or shouldnt. ahh
Post # 10
I think you should pay for your guests. They’re coming out to support you, and it’s a nice gesture.
At the same time, I would understand if you absolutely could not afford it, and I would be gracious about it and pay for my own food, but that doesn’t sound like the situation here.
Post # 11
I think you should pay for it. If you can’t swing it & don’t want to pay for it then you shouldn’t do the dinner. just my opinion!
Post # 12
If I were invited to a reception of any sort I would expect the meal to be paid by the host. If you do go the route of having your guests pay be sure to word the invitation accordingly to avoid confusion when the bill arrives.
Post # 13
We eloped with 6 friends as witnesses and then went to lunch afterward, and everyone paid for their own meal. We presented it as “we are going to lunch afterward and anyone who would like to may join us,” so it wasn’t really a reception. I don’t think anyone was offended.
Post # 14
I think if you are having a dinner you should pay… especially when you are paying for a photographer. If I went to a wedding and had to pay for my meal, but saw a photographer there I would think it was pretty rude that the couple had money to spend on the wedding but chose not to spend any on the guests.
Post # 15
@alicia1745: I agree!
If you can’t afford to pay for the dinner, you shouldn’t be having it IMO. I wouldn’t invite guests to my house and make them pay for their own dinner there. If you’re hosting something for your wedding, guests should not have to pay for it.
Post # 16
Yes, you do host. You can even work with the restaurant to create a “selected menu” meaning you select maybe 2-3 entrees, maybe one beer, one wine options (or none at all) just so the guests aren’t seeing the entire food list and all picking the filet mignon. That’s one way to lower the costs.
This is your reception, to receive guests and thank them for coming to see you get married.
Sounds great and if my family/friends were near I’d do the restaurant route too!