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I have known for years the engagement ring I wanted: Yellow gold, Tiffany Setting 0.6 carats, and that's the one my boyfriend got for me. I took him to Tiffany's to show it to him and so I could try it on to make sure the size was ok and everything, he wouldn't let me go with him when he ordered it or picked it up though :P Can't wait to have it on my finger when he finally proposes :) However when I told my sister and cousin that I picked the ring, they were skeptical and thought it was odd that I picked my ring, that I should have let him do it on his own. But I would rather have picked the ring myself than be stuck with one I don't like. Has anyone else had this problem?
Never had this "problem" per se, but my fiance and I did the SAME thing. I didn't know what I wanted before we went, but we did go together and pick out rings we thought I would like. I tried them on, he knew immediately which I liked the best, but we kept looking. I had a "top three." He picked number one and went back and got it later, then proposed.
It's not weird at all and is much more common than you think. Being on here made me realize that. It's not odd, you shouldn't feel bad. Just because maybe THEY wouldn't do it doesn't mean it's not done or even normal.
I don't think it's weird at al! We picked out my setting together...he wanted my input. The diamond was all his call, though. I did say I like round and cushion best, though.
Many people choose or have a say in their ring these days. Nothing wrong with that! Sounds like a great choice, and congrats!!
No, this is common and if your SO is okay with it and you know you'll love it forever, then there's no reason to feel bad about it! My SO and I went ring shopping together, and I was supposed to have a "top 3" as well. Once I put my soon to be ring on my finger, he and I both knew it was the ring. No questions. This situation just happens to be what suits you guys. I agree with Ameliabedelia completely! =)
I didn't pick my ring myself, but I did drop some hints :) I also know a lot of people, both on here and in real life, that picked their own rings and it is totally fine. I think it is all about what works for the couple, and just because it is not what your sister/cousin want, doesn't mean that isn't whats best for you. Don't worry about it dear!
No do not feel bad. People will say what they please but its the norm these days really. Plus when my husband is putting money into something & its something I will wear everyday for the rest of my life I want to make for dag on sure I LOVE it. I mean I honestly like every ring I see just about it. I like 100's of different styled rings & hope to have lots of right hand rings to trade out with. But for the engagement ring I am going to be wearing everyday I wanted a solitaire. ALWAYS have wanted a solitaire. So I picked my engagement ring both times (lost the other one.) And my husband was glad I helped him out. He knows my style. He could go pick one ring from 1000 & I know I would LOVE it. But we do everything else together, so it was very us to do this together as well!
I totally picked my ring! The only "choice" my FI had was between 2 settings and the actually shade of blue for the diamond. He knew I wanted the darkest blue he could find, and that I wanted a halo of white diamonds, there were only 2 settings we looked at, and I definitely steered him towards the one I wanted more. It's YOUR ring, I think it's great that some people are totally surprised and have no say, but it's a very expensive purchase that you wear every day, why not have a say in it?
We had mine designed and made for me and we were both there every step of the way. I couldn't have imagined it any other way!
I don't think it's a bad thing, me and FH did the same thing! An e-ring is an investment plus the biggest thing he's ever bought in life, so why buy something you won't love? Can't wait for you to get your ring!
Don't feel bad! Especially if you and your (future) fiance were on the same page. Some people want a big surprise, and others want things to be more "lets do this together." It sounds like you guys had a great bonding experience of it, and a beautiful ring is coming your way! Be proud and happy and don't worry about the rest.
i did exactly what you did and i don't feel bad at all about it. i love my ring!
I don't see this as a problem. It is great because you'll be wearing a ring you love and he will know you truly love it.
Before we were engaged I was making dinner one night and he was on the computer. He called me over to look at something and he had a bunch of ring pictures up as he wanted to get an idea of what I liked. One that he had up I loved and told him I wanted that one no doubt. So he arranged to go buy it and the next day after work we went. It is a 'used' ring but when I saw it I just knew it needed to be on my finger!
My husband PREFERRED that I just tell him what I wanted so that I ended up with something I would love forever. I think many men would probably prefer to have help from their lady rather than being in the dark about the whole process.
that is exactly what we did! he told me that i should find out what kind of ring i liked. so i went shopping.
originally i wanted a 1 ct round with lots of bling on the band. but when i tried them on, it wasn't me. i fell in love with a .75 solitare. i am glad that i was able to do the planning and picking. he is not one who likes to shop, so it was perfect for him. infact we selected the diamond together. he told me his price range, and we examined the diff diamonds together.
We went together and I picked out mine!! I am very particular and would not have been okay with wearing something I didn't love. Maybe that sounds shallow, but it's honest. Now after receiving mine and thinking the band is a BIT too thick (maybe?!) I realize I probably won't change it because it is sentimental... but I'm all for picking out your own, why the heck not?!
I agree with pretty much what everyone else was saying. He tried to get his sister (and my best friend) to go with me, but she got so confused that him and I ended up just going together. The ring I ended up getting was one I brushed over, but he brought me back to try it on. I ended up loving it! We did a little bit more shopping and then once he figured out what I liked it was his game. I kept mentioning thatring to his sister though, so he ended up going and getting that one, and I am so happy with thatdecision :D
@Jacqui90: it's very modern that brides pick their own ring. I think it's semi traditional and maybe old fashioned idea for us to not be involved in some way in the ring picking. Whether its sending pics to our SOs or giving him an option of three rings or flat out going with him to pick it out! It's all about what u want and when u get your dream ring you will be ecstatic and iwaking matter who picked it :-)
Agree with everyone! It's quite normal these days to pick your own ring! Glad you have one you love! :)
Be glad you picked your ring. Now you won't end up like half of the posters in the ring section worrying how to tell their SOs that they want something different.
hahahah just remembered my brother's e ring story. they had planned to get engaged and married when they both finished university. as her last semester was finishing, she printed a picture of her dream ring (1 ct tiffany six prong round solitare) and stuck it on the fridge for everyone to see (mom dad me and bro). it was there for a couple months. no one ever thought it was rude, just funny and cute.
You have to wear the ring on your finger, look at it, and be excited to wear it for the rest of your life so do not feel bad that you picked it. While most girls dream of their wedding, all I ever had planned was my ring. I had never really envisioned anything else. He knew that so we went shopping together. I went with him and we picked the setting out together and fortunately we both agreed on the exact same one. I've known since I was a child that I wanted a simple round solitaire. I wanted to be sure and tried on other cuts and even other settings and hated them, even he hated them, so it worked out in the end. He loved the ring. I loved the ring, and if we hadn't shopped together I would have probably hated the ring because I had a specific ring in mind and I haven't wavered. Ever. He had me narrow it down to 2 stones and he picked one. I found out later that he bought a stone and then returned it for a larger one, which I still think he was crazy to do, but in his own little way, that gave him the satisfaction of choosing the ring but he was still guaranteeing that I would be happy. He also chose the metal. I love white gold and I told him it would be the most economical choice, but I told him it didn't matter what he chose. He chose platinum. While technically I CHOSE the ring, he did too. He designed it though.
I designed mine and I don't feel bad about it at all. DH knows I'm very picky about jewelry and he would have stressed like crazy over finding something I'd like, so it was really a win-win situation for the both of us for me to just design my dream ring.
If you're going to be wearing something on your finger forever, there's no harm in making sure it's something you love!
I agree with PPs. YOU are the one who has to wear it every day for the rest of your life, and I'm sure your FI wants you to be happy with it.
I chose my ring with my FI, and definitely got a few raised eyebrows that "he didn't pick it on his own." But my FI didn't want to and neither did I. He wanted me to have something that I would truly love, not something that I would wear because I didn't want to disappoint him! :-)
I don't think you should feel guilty at all for picking your ring! Not only did I pick out my ring, but I also did all of the communication with the jeweler for the custom setting and I paid for part of it. My FI knows that I am way too picky about my jewelry to give up complete control and more than anything he just wanted me to have my dream ring. I offered to help pay for the ring because I see getting engaged as something we were doing together, and since our finances are somewhat combined already it just made sense.
If you already knew what your dream ring was, then I see no issue with you letting your SO know.
I don't think it's a problem at all. Your boyfriend maybe similar to my FI. My FI would rather want me to have a ring that I liked instead of getting something that I didn't pick out.
thanks everyone for the reassurance, I feel much better about it now :)
I'm picking my own ring and my BF is definitely preferring it. This way he knows that I will adore my ring set.
If anything I feel sorry for the moissyco customer service guy. Lol poor guy has to put up with my insanity while I try to finalize my dream ring. Poor poor mike at customer service...
I picked my ring! If I left it to my FI to pick it out, the anxiety of picking a good ring would have delayed the engagement for years! Also, I really wanted to pick the ring myself. I love it, and I love him, and that's what matters!
I picked mine out too. I've picked all 3 of my rings actually lol. (Anniversary ring 2 years ago, engagement ring, and future wedding band.)
I picked my ring out! My FI wanted my total input to make sure I would love it for life!! Please dont feel bad, its very normal these days.
@Jacqui90: Nope. Don't feel bad at all. I think it's very romantic and you both made a beautiful decision TOGETHER. My fiance let me pick out my rings before we were engaged, too. It didn't matter to him who picked it, just as long as I loved it. I wanted him to pick it in the first place, but once we walked into the jewelry store I couldn't help myself and unexpectedly ended up finding the perfect set! ;)
It is very normal and common for couples to go ring shopping together--but of course, I didn't realize that until after we were engaged. It sounds silly, but I thought there was a "rule" about the man picking out the ring, haha. But in the end, some couples go together and some don't--I feel it's all very personal and special on both ends! :)
Your ring sounds very gorgeous by the way!
Debrett's states: "It is traditional for a man to propose with an engagement ring, but many choose to propose without one and opt for a different token such as a bracelet or necklace instead. The couple then choose the ring together."
I'm no great stickler for etiquette, but if Debrett's is OK with it I don't see why your relatives should disapprove! My FI actually took Debrett's as his guide and proposed with a bracelet; we then went ring-shopping together.
Don't feel bad! Alot of woman pick out their e-ring and including me! My hubby only choose the main diamond. He knew i liked princess or squareish cushion. My setting gives the illusion of cushion and went for princess because of sparkle! It is a very expensive purchase and im sure your DH to be would rather spend his hard earn money on a style you LOVE than something you think is just nice.. Btw- did your sister and cousin Love their erings that their husband picked for them? Sounds like they might be a little envious that you are getting your dream ring?!?!
Lots of women pick their own rings. DH went with me to try on rings at a few stores, but he wanted me to pick. He told me what he wanted to spend, I did the research to find my center-stone and setting within that budget and he paid for it.
I picked my own ring and I don't regret it at all. Shopping together for it was a very romantic experience for both os us!
I got some slack from friends and family after picking out my ring and frankly, I don't give a shit what they think. I love that I was involved and I wouldn't have had it any other way. If I'm going to wear something for the rest of my life, I'm going to like it. I've heard a lot of people say that if your SO knows you, they should know what kind of ring you'd like. Well, that doesn't always work. We were together for more than 5 years before getting engaged and the rings that he selected (while shopping together) were nothing like the ring that I ultimately chose. They were nice but not my style. I never wore rings before my e-ring (or much jewelry to being with) so I'm not sure how he would have made an educated guess with nothing to go off of.
After we got engaged some of my friends questioned why I selected my ring. I basically gave them the spiel above but also asked them if they were able to select their ring, if they would have chosen what their husbands gave them. I knew one of their answers considering my one friend RETURNED her original e-ring and bought a different one behind her husbands back. My other friends said that they probably would have opted for something different if given the oppertunity.
I think it's fabulous you are getting the ring you really love. My SO wanted to pick something on his own at first and talked to his family about someone going with him, but in the end he and I picked it out together and can't wait for it to be here. He realized he was as concerned as I was that although he has great taste we both wanted to be sure my forever ring was perfect for me. I'm actually suprised that his family hasn't given us any qualms about our picking it together.
uhhh no thats totally normal!! Lol everyone i've known has either gone shopping to get ideas or told their SO exactly what they wanted. We went shopping and i tried on rings because honestly i didnt know what i wanted!! We got a clear idea and i told him the requirements i had ha. So he still technically has to find it and decide on the exact setting and everything, but i definitely steered him in the direction i want.
Dont feel bad about it!!!
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