Weddingbee boards

Ummm.  So I was getting all these ideas from the hive and loving the planning, the creating and thought the idea was to do a lot of the decor, tabletop stuff myself, including and especially to save some cash.  I thought the caterer was on the same page, but NO, he is royally pissed off and we're not even speaking now.  For several weeks, I've e-mailed to him or mentioned that the pix of the stuff he sends me, like glassware, flatware, table linens, aren't that great (I say this with some tact) and that his prices aren't great either and, thinking we're on the same team, happily tell him where WE can find prettier stuff much cheaper.  Well, finally, he let me in on his little secret last weekend --  he knows he's charging me double+ for all these rentals (tables, chairs, linens, knives, forks, coffeemakers, plates, stemware, etc.) because THAT'S HOW HE MAKES A LIVING.  Omigod.  I had no idea.  I thought a caterer made his living by cooking and presenting and selling the food to happy hungry mouths.  So now we're in a deadlock.  He won't budge off his prices, plus, I don't even like his stuff much.  I like the stuff I've found better and it's half the price! We're not talking about everything or even most things -- just, literally, the linens, glassware (for the tables, not the bar), and the flatware (though no one in this town wants to rent me just that).  On that last point, I called a place with gorgeous silverware this morning and when they asked who my caterer is and I told them, they hung up on me.  After that, I got a call from the manager of the space we're using who told me they're not going to let me have all these different vendors delivering stuff for my wedding -- without insurance... admitted that my caterer had just called them and that he's fuming.  Well, so am I.  Can't believe he'd go behind my back like that.  And I've never planned to have a lot of vendors come in anyway; I'm buying a few linens and boxes of glasses which my friends will bring over to the space!

S0 where are we? The caterer has a large chunk of change from us since January; he's done a lot of work on floorplans and such.  We're awfully close to the wedding in June  FI thinks the caterer is trying to get us to walk; says he gets to keep the deposit and find a new client for that june night.  I dunno and I don't know what to do exactly.  I have my purchases/rentals on hold pending the outcome of this mess... I e-mailed the caterer earlier today laying out the truth, my truth, as I've told you, as I'd told him, about how it came to be that I went about trying to get stuff on my own without any knowledge that this would be a problem, and not a blessing, for him... but that now I just can't see going with all his stuff, most -- okay, I understand that I'll have to -- but not all, which I don't love and which I can get cheaper and which I do love.

What would you do? I should add that I don't even think he wants me to go with his stuff.  I kind of agree with FI that he doesn't want to work with me any more and I'm freaked!

I think you should explain to him that you didn't realize there was an upcharge on these items and you also were unaware that you were obligated to rent these items from him, which it sounds like you did. I would call the venue and explain to them that it's just a few items being brought in by friends, not vendors and even though it's not your fault, apologize for the nasty call made by the caterer. Something like, "i'm sorry you were put in the middle of our misunderstanding". I don't think it would be legal for him to cancel on you without giving your deposit back so check your contract. Maybe e-mail him in a few days once he's cooled off a bit and see if you can comprimise. If not get your $$ back and look for someone else. Good Luck. He sounds like a nightmare!