Post # 1
Hi! I listened to your advice and decided to get out of the relationship but proposed first. He said no. I asked why and it was because he won’t marry anyone. I ended the relationship but said we can stay friends.
Now he acts like nothing happened. He pretends everything is ok. I’m being just friendly as I said. Any idea what is with him now? He acts nice but it’s obvious he is really different. Can I somehow know without asking him where he stands?
Post # 2
He told you where he stands, loud & clear.
Now it’s up to you whether to move on or let him enjoy his no strings attached status quo with you.
Post # 3
Time to go no contact for at least 6 months. Maybe you can be friends one day, but today is not that day. Give yourself time to heal and get past this relationship. You want different things and that is not going to change any time soon.
Post # 4
unlucky: so you proposed even though you were going to leave?
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
He told you directly he won’t marry you or anyone, why would you need more confirmation?
Post # 6
unlucky: He doesn’t want to marry you. If he’s being so cool about it he probably expects you to stay friends with benefits. Nothing wrong with that as long as you don’t cling to the idea that it’ll turn into more.
Post # 7
Saying you can still be friends was a mistake because you don’t really want to be friends, you wanted him to be your husband. keeping contact will only be torturing yourself.
Post # 8
- Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN
I think you just need to move on. No more contact.
Post # 9
He has told where he stands. He has no desire to get married. At this time, he does not get to be your friend. Take care of you first. Heal your heart and move on without any contact with him. In time, (no less than 6 months), you can decide if you want to be friends.
Post # 10
Time to move on. Also proposing to someone who’s not ready to be married will always be a bad idea… Can’t blindly follow the bees!
Post # 11
Don’t let him have his cake and eat it, too. I would walk away for good.
Post # 12
You’re no longer waiting…You’re single. I know after 9 years together it’s hard to remember who you are. It’s time to figure it out. You need to date you for a while and learn to love yourself. You deserve someone who wants what you want in life.
DO NOT WASTE ANYMORE OF YOUR TIME ON THIS DOUCHE!!
Post # 13
unlucky: If you’re not together then don’t bother asking him. Nothing he says will make it ‘ok’, it’ll still hurt that you’re not with him, if that was the goal… which I’m assuming because you proposed. I didn’t read the other thread.
I would just let it go, as hard as that sounds. Focus on yourself, one day it won’t matter.
Post # 14
I think he’s made it abundantly clear where you stand. He doesn’t want to get married to you or anyone. So I’d chalk this relationship down to past history and move on.
Post # 15
If you are truly breaking up with him than erase his number from your phone, block him on facebook and don’t answer his messages. No contact is the best way to cut the strings. I was going to be friends with an ex but realized the next day that was a bad idea if I wanted to get over him. I asked him to meet me in a public place and told him straight up that we can’t be friends. Friends wasn’t good enough for me and that if he wanted me to move one then he had to respect that and not contact me again.