Post # 1
So I recently have just STOPPED all kinds of engagement talk with my SO. We went to get my finger sized on Valentine’s Day (YAY) but I realized that in the past I was pushing it too much.
I decided that now is not a good time. He doesn’t have a job. He has an interview Wednesday. He was actually really taken aback that I told him to take one thing at a time. Yes, I pushed back my engagement. He was originally saying that in March, whether he had a job or not, he would propose. After a long time of unrest and contemplation, I decided this was an awful move. We are young (24) and we have the rest of our lives! Why “waste” a beautiful moment when he isn’t financially stable? Why not do everything when we can rejoice and have no “what ifs” or “I wish..”. I don’t know what came over me, but I decided that it would be best to wait.
I don’t know how long I am waiting. I am peaceful though. I knew that I did not want to be the 40 year married woman resenting my man for a “rushed” or “uncomfortable” proposal. I didn’t want to hear about other proposals as well and feel like mine was at a bad time. I want to savor and love the moment.
I wanted the engagement so bad. We aren’t living together and I cannot wait to wake up to this man everyday. But, I did what would soothe me and I saved the future us from heartache and doubt. Now it’s a surprise because I have no clue when he’ll do it!!!! I am SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT! What would you have done?
Post # 3
That’s a very, very mature way to handle the situation. And it’s not easy at all to do it. But I admire you for it! If I could, I would have done the same.. 🙂
Post # 4
@cinderella2: Thanks! I had been immature about the situation for about 3 months and it was putting a strain on us. I felt like nothing was going to be special anymore. Him giving me a timeline of Feb-MAR was VERY stressful. Now, I am at ease.:)
Post # 5
I think it’s awesome that you can admit to yourself (and him) that you realized you’ve been immature about the whole situation, and now you are really thinking about the long term rather than just getting the ring on your finger! I try not to push my SO for an engagement right now because we are still getting settled in jobs and everything, and I just know that as soon as we are engaged I will just be pushing for when we’re getting married, so I would rather be un-engaged than trying to plan a wedding with basically no funds for it!
Post # 6
@southernbelle381: I think you did the right thing and in your situation, as hard as it would have been for me to push it back, I think I would have done the same thing. Kudos to you for making such a tough decision!
Post # 7
Good job coming to this conclussion. i am in the same boat, though I am having a hard time with the waiting, and being mature and waiting lol. I hope he finds a job soon!!!