(Closed) I put the engagement on the back burner, am I the terrible one?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

It shouldn’t be that way! Even my FI helped pick out colors… I cannot believe that your SO would be like that. 🙁 I am sorry. I hope it gets better.

Post # 5
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I can’t believe that he would be like that. I think you need to talk to him and see why he isn’t into this. I would hate for it to be like this when you actually did tie the knot. So much un-needed stress.

Post # 6
Member
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

i think he is not prepare to get married. im sorry you are going through this but. i think you should have a heart to heart conversation with him and tell him how you feel

Post # 7
Member
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Sounds like you need to sit down and have a conversation with him.  The most important thing is that you two are on the same page.  I hope that everything works out.  The part that sounds the most alarming to me is that he wont get to know your family and friends.  I had a relationship with someone once who had no interest in my family and friends.  It hurts and I am sorry that you have to deal with that.

Post # 10
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow, three years without setting a date is really a lot unless it was a mutual decision, which in your case it was not. I hate to say it, but I think it is ultimatum time. I know, I know, normally I’m not a fan, but in this case what else are you going to do? Unless you’re ok with being engaged indefinitely, he owes it to you to set a timeline. After 3 years of engagement you have been more than patient!

Post # 11
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Maybe take a break? I know that is terrible to hear but something isn’t right. 🙁

Post # 13
Member
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am sorry but I agree with Lizabeth Lou.  I know that it is a hard thing to hear but it seems that he is very comfortable with being your fiance/boyfriend.  If he will not respect you when you want to have a heart to heart with him, what kind of husband or father would he be?

I am very sorry that you are going through this.  It is not an easy situation for anyone.

Post # 14
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I also agree with Lizabeth Lou. Something is not right. I don’t think he’s ready for the next step and stalling by avoiding the question.

Post # 15
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I can’t even fathom putting myself in this sitch…. I am so sorry.

Post # 16
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I think his behavior makes it clear that he doesn’t want to get married. I don’t know why he proposed if he wasn’t ready for marriage…but the fact is, he isn’t. I would say to talk to him, but you have already. It sounds to me like you’re making all the effort here and it might be time to leave the relationship. 

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