(Closed) I really do love him, but sometimes..ugh! [vent]

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
846 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@krayzay87:  Ahhhhhhh, shame! I really feel for you. I have dated men like this in my past. It’s that culture of machoism that we can’t shake. and I think it’s the same in Australia as in SA.

 

Seriously, I would sit him down and have a long and very serious discussion about this. Tell him it irks you and if he wants to get personal with his mates he should go play a game of rugby – there is plenty of footsie and crotch grabbing in a scrum. You can’t just keep walking away because it will eventually make you seem like a brat and trivialise the enormous disrespect he is showing you.

 

 

Post # 4
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My FI was exactly like this when we first started dating. I just couldn’t understand why he turned into a completely different guy when he was around his friends. One time I just called him out on it in front of his friends and asked him why he moved heaven and earth for me when we were alone (and gave an example of something really mushy he did that morning) but was such a pig to me in front of his friends. His mates automatically started cracking up and giving it to him about being whipped and he was so embarrassed but then he actually asked ME later on why I had to embarass him like that. We ended up having a pretty good talk about the situation and while he still carries on like a child with his friends, at least he has stopped disrespecting me. 

Post # 5
Member
1125 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My husband is like this a little, he was moreso in the beginning of the relationship. But I can have a smart mouth too so I’d have something to counter his jokes. We joke a lot though. But if he would have grabbed himself down there and say “I’m not up” I’d have said something along the lines of “Yeah, honey I know you have a problem with that, but I’m not talking about your sex organs, I’m talking about a drink in the kitchen”. I would laugh of course so everyone knew I was joking but yeah, I grew up with two older brothers, I know how to hit where it counts.

Post # 7
Member
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@krayzay87:  In the grand scheme of things is this REALLY a big deal? I’m just wondering because if it’s just his sense of humor, it might be really hard (if not impossible) to change him, and it would be wasted effort on your part, and cause resentment on both sides as well.

He sounds like he’s just a young guy being silly/having fun or am I missing something here? I get why it would be a bit annoying.. but I guess in the grand scheme of life and adult problems, I am not sure this is one you should make a big deal of. Choose your battles basically.

If I were you I would just avoid hanging out with him when he’s with his buddies. Go into another room or plan something with your girlfriends. I know you can’t do this all the time, but even sometimes would help. Then it would be less annoying if it’s not a constant thing.

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