I really don't know what to think, :(

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@AlmostMrsShield:  my heart goes out to you its hard to lose someone even if it was some years ago the you feel with out some closure and it is hurtful when people dont think of you… I would suggest going to that speical place your self and knowing he is at reast and its his place you will feel more peace then too i am really sorry that all happened i would be upset too 

Post # 5
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@AlmostMrsShield:  its natrual to feel disconnected he was a very impactful and speical man in your life. You left assuming nothing big was gonna happen while you were gone. Finding out that they randomly did that with you hurt your feelings because he was so important. 

 

Know that that is now his place, its where he will rest and where you can go to feel him and guilded by him. You likely will feel so much better once you have been there your self you can do your own something speical there for him, to say goodbye. 

 

And you know what your feeling that sense of its ok to have baby now because its a wonderful way to keep his legacy alive by keeping his line going and starting a new generation for him to look out for. 

 

Post # 6
Member
42549 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AlmostMrsShield:  I’m sorry you missed the scattering of the ashes, but in this case the needs of your Nan come first. She may have needed to get this done while she still could.

Not knowing your whole story, I have no idea how long you are going to be overseas.

Having had his ashes scattered, he may in fact be closer to you than he has been for a long time- “ashes scattered on the wind”.

Post # 7
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AlmostMrsShield:  I can imagine them getting together on his 90th birthday, and deciding now was a good time to spread his ashes. I don’t think you or anyone else was being singled out. I mean, what were they meant to say, “We can’t scatter the ashes today, we need to wait until all the grandchildren are present”? I hope you can see that wasn’t feasible, or fair to his wife. However much your grandpa meant to you, I can bet that he meant much more to his wife and children – especially his wife. I can see how it hurts, and I’m sorry that it does, but your grandmother’s feelings come ahead of yours in this case.

Post # 9
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AlmostMrsShield:  OK, I see, and I’m sorry if my last reply came across harsh. But these things happen. One of my grandmothers died when I was about to leave on an interstate vacation with my husband and young kids. It wasn’t feasible to leave the vacation and attend the funeral. Sometimes we miss these events and grieve in other ways. (((Hugs))) to you.

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