Post # 1
I have never actually met him in person. However, there have just been so many things that have happened with him that makes it so I really really don’t want him as part of my wedding. First of all, the guy is a jerk, which really confuses me because my FI is one of the nicest guys on the planet. So I really don’t see how they are best friends, but I guess they do have a lot of interests in common. About a year ago, when the friend was living in Arizona, my FI (BF at the time) went to visit him. I found out later that the friend was pressuring him the whole time to go to a strip club. I am one of those girls who just isn’t okay with strip clubs and my FI knew this and didn’t go.
However, a few months later, the friend comes to Vegas (we live about two hours away) for his sister’s wedding. FI is invited. I am not. Later I found out it was because he really wanted to take FI to a strip club. Still, my FI said no and they didn’t go. But WTH? Give it a rest already…
A few months ago, the friend wanted to come visit us before his move to Canada. Before the visit, the guy told FI about how they were going to smoke so much weed together at our house during his visit. Ummm WHAT?!?
FI and I don’t smoke weed. We rarely even drink. Not that I have a problem with people who do (that is their choice) but I am not comfortable having it in my home. And I told FI that. So the friend threw a huge fit and said that I was being controlling and lame.
For financial reasons, he didn’t end up even coming. Ever since, I just have had a serious problem with the guy. But I don’t feel like my reasons are valid enough to say anything to my FI without sounding like I am overreacting. But worrying about the best man at my wedding is honestly the last thing I want to worry about.
Post # 3
You probably won’t have to worry about him at the wedding. My fiance had a friend (wasn’t his best friend but one of a small group of friends) who talked about bringing weed to our house, I said no and it was respected. He also tried to get my fiance to do stuff he knows I wouldn’t like, like the strip club. My fiance’s brother and other friend told him I don’t love that idea. He then proceeded to keep saying it and saying I wouldn’t find out and that I was too controlling. However, he didn’t act like this in front of me and honestly I didn’t care what he did because he wasn’t the person I was concerned about. It may have been different that they weren’t super best friends but he was only one of three other guys my fiance hung out with at the time. He became the same way (actually worse) when he got a serious girlfriend so there’s a possibility that the best friend is jealous of the time you have with him. You can obviously trust your fiance though and the friend probably won’t be rude at your wedding.
Post # 4
I will add that I do get how irritating and frustrating it is. But I really don’t see you having to worry about him at the wedding.
Post # 5
Ok, so I don’t think my story isn’t that bad, but is similiar. First, it’s not my fiance’s best man, but he is a groomsen. I have met him and he seems like a nice guy, HOWEVER, all he ever talks about is how many women he’s been with, how hot this girl is, how sexy that girl is, etc etc…plus he lives in a college town so it even makes matters worse…. it’s like, hello, you are 24 years old, let’s grow up and stop chasing college girls. I’m not saying 24 is soo much older than college age girls, but he is acting like he is a freshman in college and all he cares about is getting some booty. It makes me nervous when he asks my fiance to go visit him b/c I know his friend wants to go out and get drunk w/ tons of girls and really I’m not all that comfortable with it. I trust my fiance but I still don’t want him being around that and girls being drunk & all over him. This friend of his also wanted to go to Vegas for his bachelor party. First of all, he is not the best man, so he should not be making decisions. I told my fiance it bothered me b/c I know what goes on in Vegas. I don’t want to tell him what he can and cannot do but I had to say something otherwise I would just get all worried. My fiance said he didn’t want to go to Vegas anyway, but who knows what his friend will want to do next….. I just don’t trust him
Post # 6
I get that this guy has done some questionable things in the past, but you’ve never even met him. You really owe it to your fiance to give him a chance. If this guy is worthy enough to be considered the best man, I doubt he is going anywhere. Guys do stuff like that, drink a lot and act stupid, when they are together. The friend may have gone overboard, but I am sure he was just excited to see your fiance since it seems they live far apart. Give him a chance, and maybe you might actually like him.
Post # 7
after reading your post, i thought what a great fiance you have – he said TWICE to being pressured to go to strip clubs. one of them in vegas when you were nowhere near by. that’s awesome. and i think that means your FI can handle his best man and won;t let him get away with anything stupid for his bachelor party or your wedding