I really don't like my FI's ring choice…

posted 3 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would it bother you if he picked a ring you hated?
    Yes : (81 votes)
    37 %
    No : (137 votes)
    63 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    349 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2008

    I’d just let him have what he wants. Grand scheme of things, this probably isn’t that big of a deal. You can still have the pictures that you want, you don’t have to match if that’s what you’re concerned about? And you can always have those photos black and white if you don’t want the ring colors to show.

    Post # 4
    Member
    6407 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Oh, well you two should come to a compromise. How did you two pick your engagement ring and wedding band, and his mangagement ring (if there was one)?

    FWIW, I think there’s nothing more traditional, classic, or says “married” louder than a yellow gold band, so I think it’s coming from a very sweet place (meaningfulness over fashionability).

    Post # 6
    Member
    351 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I feel your pain. I was expecting FI to choose a plain white gold band…but instead he wants to look like a pimp and have diamonds all over his ring. I was really upset about it at first, but have learned to let it go. Ultimately it’s his ring. You got to choose want you wanted(hopefully) and he should too. 

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    2575 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My FI and I both came to the conclusion that we have to wear the rings, so it should really be up to us what we pick.  My FI went with a black Tungsten band.  I may have preferred something lighter in color, but if letting him have a black band is going to make him excited to wear his wedding band, I’m all for it.  Plus, I got to veto his opinion on rings that I liked.. so, it all worked out in the end.. 😉

    Post # 8
    Member
    317 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I voted yes.  If we would have picked our own rings, I wouldn’t care what he got.  Since he picked  out mine I got to pick out his.  It was fun.  But if he picked out mine then got to get his own I would have been sad about it. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    How about a two-tone band?  My FI really wanted yellow (I like yellow, but my rings are palladium), but it looked pretty meh on his skin tone, and I wanted to match at least a little.  We got him a two-tone band with yellow on the outside and platinum on the inside, and it looks *perfect*.

    In the grand scheme of things, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.  If your FI has strong preference, it means that the ring is meaningful to him, and that he wants to actually wear it.  Neither of our dads wear their rings, so the fact that my FI wants anything at all on his finger means the world to me.

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    370 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    He’s the one wearing it, not you. Leave him be.

    Yellow gold is classic. White gold/platinum might look as ‘dated’, to use your words, as yellow gold appears now in 20 years.

    I like yellow gold but opted for platinum because all my other jewellery is silver coloured.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @Soon_To_Be_Mrs_T:  hahahaha @ “wants to look like a pimp.”  They have really unexpected preferences sometimes, don’t they?!

    Post # 12
    Member
    6407 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @kb7:  If you chose your rings, then he should choose his. Overall, that is a compromise/collaboration. 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    5932 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @kb7:  Meh….as someone five years down the road, all I can tell you about my husband’s ring is that its big, its beat up and its stuck on his finger…..thats about as much attention as I pay to it….

    Post # 14
    Member
    4483 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    It would bother me a bit, but I wouldn’t say anything. Just like I don’t say anything when he wears those old falling apart sneakers :-p

    Post # 15
    Member
    1340 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @Soon_To_Be_Mrs_T:  This made me spit on my monitor, LOL!!!

    OP, it could be worse! I say go with black and white or sepia if you don’t like the color of his ring.

    Post # 16
    Member
    6407 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @TwoBirch:  of course, they equally would compliment each other, right? You would come to some sort of middle ground, not choose the ring you want all by yourself and then limit his to what matches….because that wouldn’t be equal.

    FI and I discussed in general what our four rings would look like (one engagement ring and one wedding band each) before we got any of them, so we could come to that middle ground.

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