- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
So, some of you may recall a post I wrote a while back about the best man being a royal pain in my ass. I’m going to try to make this as short as possible. Let’s try point form lol.
- Best man and FI have a very weird relationship. very love-hate. very…Best man essentially bullies/pressures FI and tries to manipulate him.
- Since FI and I have gotten together, I’ve helped him learn to stand up for himself.
- Best man moved to the UK and came back in January and caused a bit of a situation not only between FI and myself but some of the other couples in the group. Best man doesn’t believe in or respect relationships, boundaries, or the word “no”.
- When Best man was back for his visit in January he insisted on a guys weekend just the guys, the entire weekend at short notice for no real reason.
- Fast forward to today…FI and I have agreed that by the time I’m back for my bachelorette, we would both be “grounded” as it is 3 weeks til the wedding from that point and there would be lots to do. I did not force him, threaten or bully him into this decision. To him it was logical (especially since he wanted the big wedding and I didn’t, he knew he wasn’t going to abandon me to work out the last minute crap)
- FI told Best man about this deadline last year once my trip was booked (we are going to Vegas April 5-9) and our actual wedding date is May 4.
I think that’s most of the background. Anyways, BM knew the deadline when he was here last… and up until this week hadn’t even started to plan a bachelor party for FI (um we’re 2 weeks from deadline!) and he had promsied to take him away or whatever. So I started to call up his friends and try to arrange a guys weekend nearby since nobody was planning anything and I wanted FI to have fun. Anyways one of the GM called me and was like okay, we’re going to take him out on April 6 just have a guys day, and since BM isn’t in town we will all just do lunch or dinner the week before the wedding. I agreed to this because it is just lunch or dinner.. no harm right? I’m sure they can arrange it while I’m at a fitting or something.
Anyways, last night BM called to talk to FI and sked to speak with me… and then he proceeded to be all, well I’m back April 26 and the guys want to wait for me to do the bachelor party. I laughed, I was like you’re joking, I just talked to GM and he said (insert plan here) and then BM basically says that I’m being unreasonable and blah blah blah whatever. So I tried to respectfully say that it was a decision FI and I made together, I would be willing to re-evaluate but wouldn’t know much closer to the date, I don’t appreciate being put on the spot, etc… (I happen to know that the GMs would be fine with the original plan of dinner when he got back) He kept pushing. now, I was seriously trying to keep my cool despite how much I dislike the guy, but at one point I had had it and I snapped and flipped out on his ass… and FI was sitting right next to me. I said
“Listen, I get you want to be here, but FI and I discussed and agreed to this. You can try to make me feel bad if you want to, but I won’t because it’s not my fault you decided to move and I refuse to be put in a sticky stressful situation because of it. I get that it is hard to plan while you’re far away but you could have made his party when you were here to visit a couple months ago, you managed to plan that entire weekend just fine.”
He kept saying stuff like “this is the only time that I get to do a bachelor party for my best friend, it’s important to me, this wedding is important to me” and I basically said “well if it was so fucking important maybe you wouldn’t have waited so goddamn long to plan it. I’ll think about it, but I’m telling you now the answer is probably NO” and he called me unreasonable… and whatever so I said okay, you know what? Talk to FI. If he wants to wait for you to do it, fine, but if he says that he doesn’t want to, the subject is over.
FI totally had my back.. but I was so mad I was shaking. I don’t know why. I was just so so so mad. But I’m SO proud of FI… my only problem is FI basically said now he doesn’t want a bachelor party… so I really hope the other guys stop acting like such pussies and just stick to the original plan (it was cute… lunch, gokarting, dinner, and then some bar hopping) so that he at least gets something.
Sorry I guess this was just a vent, I’m not sure why lol…Thanks though if you actually read this!